'It's like a haunted waxworks museum'

WTF at the British Comedy Awards

    • 'People stop me in the street and ask me to tell them to fuck off – and I often oblige.' Peter Capaldi

    • Despite his jibes about nominees, host Jonathan Ross said he didn't genuinely want to upset anyone and it was all in the 'teasing' spirit of the awards. He added that gags about sharing a urinal with Miranda Hart and watching Ricky Gervais film Cemetery Junction when he wanted to spend some time alone had, in fact, been pre-approved by the stars.

    • Russell Brand - who many had hoped would be reunited with Wossy at the ceremony - cancelled his appearance to spend time with a sick friend. But the host praised his absent pal as one of the best comics working today and said he hoped a line could finally be drawn under the pair's 'Sachsgate' episode, adding: 'I genuinely regret it but for fuck's sake, can we just move on now?'

    • Ross also revealed he'd spent the whole evening in a Spanx tummy-control T-shirt after failing to lose as much weight as he'd hoped after Christmas. 'I'm sure Simon Le Bon is wearing one too,' he said. The Duran Duran singer presented one of the evening's awards with bandmate Nick Rhodes.

    • A very merry Sam Spiro - who picked up the Best Female Breakthrough award for her role as Auntie Liz in Simon Amstell BBC Two sitcom Grandma's House - told reporters the character was about to get sexy. 'I'm casting for the role of her boyfriend tonight,' she grinned.

    • Newswipe being named Best Comedy Entertainment Programme certainly put a spring in Charlie Brooker's step. Asked which comics he rated, the famously grouchy broadcaster gushed: 'Everyone here this evening' before having a moment of clarity and adding: 'God, what an oily answer that was.' Brooker was back on form when talking about ITV2 reality TV show The Only Way is Essex, whose 'stars' presented one of the awards: 'It's like a haunted waxworks museum,' he shuddered.

    • Brooker fans will be pleased to learn there's a new drama in the pipeline - something closer to zom-com Dead Set than Newswipe. But he said that he had founder live TV, such as Channel 4's 10 O' Clock Show, demanding: 'I have to go for about five pisses beforehand,' he said.

    • It's not something his character Will would approve of, but Inbetweeners star Simon Bird claims he once threw a piece of fruit at a teacher during his schooldays. 'I think it might have been a mango,' he added. The show's cast were in high spirits after scooping Best Sitcom, with Emily Head, who plays love interest Carli describing her favourite on-set moment as the catwalk show in which Simon (Joe Thomas) reveals more than he intended. 'It was weird how normal it became to see Joe's testicle,' she said. 'It feels strange that it's not out now actually,' remarked Thomas.

    • Alan Davies said he was a fan of Chris Rock's as it was good to see someone in comedy with something to say. 'I normally talk about cats, grandmothers and things that you find in drawers," he said. "That's what most comedians seem to talk about these days.' As for his advice to aspiring comics, he said: 'Don't bite anyone. It will get you in the papers, but generally I'd say don't do it.' The Jonathan Creek star made headlines in 2007 when he bit a homeless man's ear on a drunken bender.

    • Plans are afoot for another series of The Thick of It, but Peter Capaldi said he had no idea how it would pan out, adding: 'The political situation has changed so dramatically...my character might even be on the scrapheap.' In the meantime, he is about to star in new Paddy Considine ITV drama The Suspicions Of Mr Whicher - adapted from Kate Summerscale's real-life whodunnit – and he may star in a new Armando Iannucci 'slapstick movie'.

    • Triple winner Miranda Hart revealed it was the first time she'd worn a frock in 20 years. Hart said she was taking a holiday before settling down to write the third series of Miranda and was hoping for a break from the character after that. 'It would be nice to do something different and find the love again.' As to what form this might take, Hart said she'd love to make her West End debut: 'I'd play Miss Hannigan in Annie,' she added.

    • Dara O'Briain stood up for Best Male TV Comic winner Michael McIntyre, saying: 'There are people who perceive what he does as easy to write and perform but that's nonsense - finding things that are that universal requires an enormous amount of skill.' O'Briain, who presented an award with actor Warwick Davis on his shoulders, admitted the British Comedy Awards were the most openly bitchy in the business, adding: 'It's good fun'.

      By Nione Meakin, backstage at London's O2.

      Published: 23 Jan 2011

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