'What do you want played at your funeral?'

Tweets of the week

If I had a pound for every time I confused the Clock app with the Calculator app, I'd have 12:50pm
— Friz Frizzle (@FrizFrizzle) April 1, 2024

"What do you want played at your funeral?"
"Twister. It'll be great."
"No, I meant what songs do..."
"IT'S WHAT I WOULD'VE WANTED".
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) April 6, 2024

In typography, does anyone know what the space between adjacent lines of type is called? Sorry, this is a leading question.
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) April 3, 2024

Ironic that B-roads are the narrowest roads of all.
— T'Other Simon off of Plastic Jeezus (@TOther_Simon) April 3, 2024

Doris, have you seen my pool table?
No Farmer Griffiths, I haven't seen any pool tables stashed away in the barn, anywhere at all today. pic.twitter.com/7tLlUbDzpU
— trouteyes (@trouteyes) April 4, 2024

Vincent Price is taller than Alan Price. Who is heavier than Katie Price. As I discovered on this Price comparison website
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) April 4, 2024

The best thing about Magna Carta is that they closed the comments section.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) April 4, 2024

They say that all roads lead to Rome, but I drove along the A53 last week, and ended up in Shrewsbury.

Talking out of their arse.
— Jason (@NickMotown) April 2, 2024