Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

Slaw, slaw, quiche quiche, slaw.

- Lionel Blair at a buffet

— Sarah Dempster (@Dempster2000) May 5, 2023

Saw a poignant documentary about a man faking telekinesis yesterday. Moving stuff, really touching.

— Moose Allain (@MooseAllain) May 6, 2023

I love looking at things through a magnifying glass to see what they’re made of, for example not many people know this but ants are actually made of fire.

— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) May 11, 2023

"My arm hurts, doctor"
"How painful is it from 1 to 10"
"It’s painful all day"

— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) May 11, 2023

I'm waiting for some Elvis memorabilia to be delivered, but it's been held up in the depot. In the depoooooot.

— Paul Eggleston (@pauleggleston) May 8, 2023

Most people write congrats because they don't know the spelling of congrajulashions…

— mariana Z (@mariana057) May 8, 2023

I've never done a Wordle. I just thought you were all being shit at Tetris.

— Andy White - Comedian (He/Him) (@AndyJWhite) May 9, 2023

Bringing your dad both screwdrivers because you don’t know what he’s talking about. pic.twitter.com/rYHmybvv7j

— Noah Garfinkel (@NoahGarfinkel) May 7, 2023