'Ohh I’m a snoozy little piglet!'

The Weekly Triva File

  • ‘Every comic who’s ever seen it says it’s the best comedy show they’ve ever seen.’ Modest Brendon Burns on his own stand-up show, So I Suppose THIS Is Offensive Now.

  • That Sun columnist Jon Gaunt in unforgiving of Russell Brand’s ill-advised hoax call to Northampton police over the sex attacker there is unsurprising; he is after all a vociferous upholder of the rule of law, and going too far is surely to be condemned. Gaunt himself could never be accused of going too far, of course, not even when he suggests in his column today – headlined ‘This vile pair that shame Britain’ [the other was sporting drugs chreat Dwain Chambers] - that the relatives of the victims of the Northampton crimes should inflict some brutal vigilante revenge on the comedian. Referring to Brand’s apology, Gaunty wrote: ‘Brand, you should go back to Northampton, meet the girls who were attacked, and apologise to them while their relatives “illuminate your dark behaviours” . . . preferably with a baseball bat.’ Charming

  • Unsurprising opinion of the day… Roy ‘Chubby’ Brown doesn’t like being told what words he cannot use. ‘I went to see Chris Rock and every other word is something a white person would not be allowed to say,’ he moaned. ‘It’s ridiculous.’

  • Harry Hill has backed a campaign to save the Mustard Shop in Norwich, which he called ‘a one-stop shop for all your mustard needs.’ He told the Norwich Evening News: ‘I’m outraged that an essential service such as this is being closed down.’ The local paper seemed to miss the irony altogether, and reported it all very seriously.

  • Lenny Henry and Dawn French are considering retiring to New Zealand. They haven’t said exactly when.

  • People will be flocking to Scranton, Pennsylvania, this weekend dressed as their favourite characters from the US version of The Office to take part in a beet-eating contest. Don’t ask.

  • Robin Ince has again been invited to join Ricky Gervais on his next British tour, Science, but Extras star has put a new clause in the contract. As well as a sound check there will now be a bed check. On his blog, Gervais wrote: ‘When we get to the hotel, we will all go to Robin’s room and Robin will jump in bed and snuggle up for one minute saying “Ohh I’m a snoozy little piglet!”’

  • A rare Turquoise Blue 993-series 1997 Porsche 911 Turbo S that was once owned by Jerry Seinfeld has gone on sale for $209,000.

  • Thanks for your suggestions for bad stand-up of the week, we’ve got plenty to keep us going. But for the second glorious week, John Griggs again rules – this time for another clip of him ‘dealing’ with a heckler. In his own words: ‘Hecklers? I eat them for breakfast…’ The evidence is here:

  • Johnny Vegas has lost five stone. slimming down to 13 stone by cutting back on pies, booze, bread and cheese.

  • Drew Carey’s colleagues on one TV show once slipped a dildo filled with nails into his airline carry-on luggage, just to cause him an embarrassing moment when it showed up on the X-ray at airport security.

SOURCES: theseriouscomedysite.com, The Sun, Norwich Evening News, Worthing Herald, Homes Worldwide, E! online, rickygervais.com, eBay, YouTube, Loose Women, Just For Laughs

Published: 18 Jul 2008

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