Bunch of Kents

The week's comedy trivia

  • Eric Idle says he’s often mistaken for Michael Palin: ‘When I am, I say, “Yes I am, now fuck off’, because I wish to spoil his unpleasant reputation for niceness.’

  • Lee Mack began his career in entertainment at Pontin’s holiday camp, starting as a technician. ‘I used to work the lights and sound in the adult room,’ he says. ‘watching all the comics do their so-called blue material. And I thought, how hard can this be? They all shared the same jokes – including the one where you would say to someone, “Where are you from?”, they would say “Kent”, and you would say, “What did you call me?!” It would always get a laugh.’ One night, Mack got drunk and went on stage. ‘I said, “Anyone in from Kent?” To which a whole gang of people said yes. I went, “You’re all a bunch of cunts, aren’t you?”’ Mack was sacked the next day.

  • The Queen is a fan of Dad’s Army.

  • A grateful nation has to salute Jimmy Carr – because after hearing his risque gags, Ann Widdecombe has vowed never to appear on Have I Got News For You again. ‘His idea of wit is a barrage of filth and the sort of humour most men grow out of in their teens,’ she moaned. ‘There's no amount of money for which I would go through those two recording hours again. At one stage I nearly walked out.’

  • Dustin Hoffman has developed a strange affection for Johnny Vegas, saying: ‘I met him at an awards ceremony. We were both pretty loaded. I love that guy. I hope he’s not hurting himself because he drinks t much and smokes too much. But he’s a very sweet man. Oh, I love him’.

  • ITV2 apparently received this emailed complaint about Katy Brand's Big Ass Show – verbatim: ‘There was a warning at the start of the show regarding potentially offensive religious content PAUSE however PAUSE there was no warning about the quality of the show PAUSE which was frankly the most offensive thing I've seen since my wife Rosemary was bitten by our dog Russel PAUSE though the wound was superficial she was still shaken by the experince PAUSE especially given Russel's normally gentle nature STOP Please either cancel this most disagreeable of half hours or tell Katy to improve the quality of her programme PAUSE I'm sure she'll be very understanding.’

  • Russell Brand once peed into a bottle during a gig. ‘It wasn't really to shock anyone,’ he says. ‘It was simply because I wanted a wee and didn't want the gig to lose momentum.’

  • Ricky Gervais says he likes America because of the people he meets in the street. He said: ‘When they say “Love the show” there’s no chance of them adding “And you’re a fat cunt”. In London, I always worry that might happen’.

  • Google the title of Jason Byrne’s stand-up show Shy Pigs With Wigs Hidden In Twigs, and it helpfully asks: ‘Did you mean: Shy Pigs With WINGS Hidden In Twigs.’ Oh yes, that’s a much more common expression…

SOURCES: Tasmania Mercury , The Times, Dailysnack.com, Daily Express, LBC 97.3, thelondonpaper, Holy Moly, Scotland on Sunday, Heat, Chortle

Published: 30 Nov 2007

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