Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

Nigel Lawson has died. But despite the overwhelming evidence of science, for balance we’re going to talk to somebody who says he hasn’t.

— Jon Harvey (@jondharvey) April 3, 2023

You should be allowed to speak at regular volume at galleries. Oh sorry did I talk over your painting? fuck off

— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) April 1, 2023

If boarding school taught me anything it's how to get on planes and trains.

— Bob Golen (@BobGolen) April 3, 2023

I used to be terrible at maths but now I’ve done a complete 360.

— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) April 5, 2023

I took out a loan to pay for an exorcism - if I don't pay it back I’m getting repossessed.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) April 3, 2023

I was very excited to join the amateur autopsy club.

Friday is open Mike night!

— mariana Z (@mariana057) April 5, 2023

>’Enter new password‘
~ 'BaDum'
> ‘Password must contain a cymbal‘
~ 'BaDumTsss'

— Alf (@whoelsebutalf) April 3, 2023

Opinions are like arseholes: I don’t want Ann Widdecome's shoved in my face

— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) April 2, 2023

Quote of the week

'I’m not an expert in comedy at all.' Jim Moir, aka Vic Reeves.

Published: 7 Apr 2023