Police Academy 6... by Ben Elton?

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

  • ‘If I didn’t invent all these ideas in comedy, I’d probably be a serial killer.’ Andy Hamilton

  • Ben Elton has revealed that he was asked to write the script for Police Academy 6.... so he does say ‘no’ to *some* things. ‘There are lots of things I could have done for the money, but I've made a great living doing the things I want to do,’ he told Metro.

  • Stephen Fry wants his gravestone to read: ‘With thanks to the ingraver for speling my epitarf propperly (all sic).’ He was among the celebs to write their own epitaph in a publicity drive for Dying Matters Awareness Week. Alexei Sayle wants his to say: ‘Surely there’s been some mistake,’ while Louis Theroux suggested: ‘So would you call THIS “man flu”?’

  • Chortle has received a ‘mea culpa’ from comedian Owen Niblock, who ‘accidentally’ claimed a four-star review from Chortle in his entry in the Edinburgh Fringe programme, now gone to print. He apologetically says the mistake came when the stars’ attribution to Three Weeks fell off the end of the description. Yep, that’s what they all say...

  • Remember last week we reported how the makers of an old Comedy Box internet sketch staked a claim to the idea of detectives vomiting all over a murder scene, as subsequently seen Cardinal Burns new sketch show for E4? Well, it seems the idea is even older than that –  as it was the first ever sketch in the series Armstrong & Miller made for what was then the Paramount Comedy Channel, back in 1997. Here’s their sketch:

    And Cardinal Burns’s

  • If you search Amazon.co.uk for ‘badger glove puppet’, Dave Gorman’s America Unchained turns up as the fourth search result. ‘I have no idea why,’ the comic blogged.

  • Legendary comic Malcolm Hardee once took so much ecstasy, cocaine and Viagra that he was virtually paralysed and had to be carried out of his own club on a stretcher.... with a massive erection. So recalls his friend Jacki Cook to blogger John Fleming.

  • Shappi Khorsandi says the worst place she’s ever visited was Whitehaven in Cumbria. She told the Independent: ‘There was a man wandering around town with this giant parrot on his shoulder, but it wasn't done with any humour. He actually turned around to a little child and said, "What are you looking at?". There was just no joy to be found that day.’

  • ‘I think stand-up now will burn out... I just don't think this is sustainable at all.’ Rhod Gilbert

  • Tweets of the week:
    Barry (@QuantumPirate ): Why did Derek Acorah cross the road? To pretend to talk to the other side.
    Edward Philips (@1755Dictionary):Cross a Norwegian Blue parrot with Alain de Botton and you get someone who opines for the fjords.
    Tony Cowards (@TonyCowards): I don't understand why people are surprised that bankers are thieving bastards, even their paper of choice is called "THE FT".

Published: 18 May 2012

Live comedy picks

We see you are using AdBlocker software. Chortle relies on advertisers to fund this website so it’s free for you, so we would ask that you disable it for this site. Our ads are non-intrusive and relevant. Help keep Chortle viable.