Has your ass played the Royal Albert Hall?

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

  • ‘[QI] is repeated so much that my hourly rate of pay is lower than that of a small child making footballs in Indonesia.’ Sean Lock

  • David Walliams left his flies open as he filmed his role as Mr Pumblechook in the new movie remake of Great Expectations – a slip that was duly captured by the paparazzi on set in Kent. However, he could be forgiven for the lapse, as he admits he’s still floored after his Thames swim. ‘I've got a parasite in my stomach which is making me feel sick all the time and I've a torn disc,’ he said. ‘I'm not crippled, but I'm not back to 100 per cent fitness.’

  • Stand-up Mike Gunn had to abandon his routine and turn fight commentator when a brawl broke out at the Comedy Store Manchester during his set. See for yourself:

  • The Sun’s comedy correspondent, Tommy Holgate, is bidding for a new career – as a dancer in the Michael Jackson musical Thriller Live! Producers are holding auditions via Facebook, and the columnist decided he’d have a bash after being wowed by the show in the West End and thinking: ‘I'd love to be in that.’ Holgate said: ‘If not for a mining town upbringing I may well have trodden the boards from a young age, but social circumstances meant footie was all that could be on the cards. It's a Billy Elliot story basically. So I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't enter.’ Here’s his audition reel:

  • Jerry Seinfeld says Kim Cattrall is the ‘Kramer of Sex And The City’.

  • Things are never quite what they seem in magic shows, but watch out when comedy conjuror Peter Firman performs a trick on Weymouth beach in the next series of BBC One’s The Magicians – for the donkey you see will not be the usual beast who gives children rides on the sand, but a specially trained professional stage donkey. The decision has prompted something of a row in the Dorset resort town, with accusations that the local ‘award-winning’ donkeys had been snubbed for luvvie rivals. West Hill Beach Donkeys owner Melanie Rush said: ‘It is a shame that the show’s producers couldn’t use us – we have a donkey that would have been perfect for the role.’ But producers Shine TV said they had to use licensed animals, and insisted that the one chosen for the trick – which Firman will perform with former Strictly Come Dancing judge Arlene Philips next Wednesday – is a ‘professional working donkey’ who ‘has done a lot of television work and has even appeared on stage at the Royal Albert Hall’.

  • Tweets of the week:
    Richard Wiseman (@ RichardWiseman): My first girlfriend was a football goalie. I thought, 'She's a keeper'.
    NickMotown (@ NickMotown ): I had a go at Jimmy Carr for leaving what I thought were pubes on the bathroom floor, but it turns out they were actually shorn locks.
    David Quantick (@quantick): There's a party in my mouth. Unfortunately it's the British National Party.

    SOURCES: Telegraph, The Sun/Irish Independent, YouTube, The Sun, ABC’s Live! With Kelly, Dorset Echo, Twitter

    Published: 25 Nov 2011

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