Oh! What a hedgehog

WTF: Weekly Triva File

  • Stephen Fry: ‘I have reached the point where I am no longer quite as fucking nice as I used to be. Without being rude, of course.’

  • Harry Enfield and his brother-in-law, the comedy tour promoter Mick Perrin, once invented an electronic golf-ball finder, but Enfield said: 'The only problem was that we couldn't make it small enough – it was about 25 metres by four, so not very practical.'

  • Newish Scottish comic Andrew Learmonth has become embroiled in a feud with singer-songwriter Sandi Thom, pictured. The musician became incensed after reading a piece Learmouth wrote in the Aberdeen Evening Express, headlined My Problem With Sandi Thom. In it, he called her music ‘awful’, but conceded she might be a ‘nice, friendly’ person after she smiled at him in a supermarket aisle, despite his history of publicly slagging off her music. Now Thom has written a response in musical form, titled Ode To Learmonth, including the lyrics: ‘Fuck you, if you don’t like me/ Fuck you if you don’t see things the way I do/Because I have been working all my life to play these songs to you/If you don’t like them, fuck you.’ In a blog post – which has since been deleted - she said: ‘Next time you’re looking for a hook for your drivel mate, take a cheap shot at someone else.’ She added she didn’t know what Learmonth looked like, so the smile in the supermarket was entirely coincidental – not an attempt at bridge-building. Listen to the song here.

  • Alan Carr says he has considered plastic surgery. ‘I wouldn't mind something happening with my back boobs,’ he said. ‘They hang over the chair like a cape.’

  • Richard Herring has been encouraging readers of his excellent Warming Up blog to help build up Duncan Norvelle's Wikipedia page. Upset that under ‘Catchphrases’ the Eighties comedian could only boast ‘Chase me’, Herring has been inviting additions, which have included: ‘Gods will be dragged screaming from the ether’, ‘I won't prevent it’ and ‘Oh! What a hedgehog.’ Editors keep erasing them, but new ones reappear just as frequently.

  • Dawn French and Lenny Henry have had to drop the asking price of their six-bedroom Berkshire mansion - complete with swimming pool, six and a half acres of ground and three-bedroomed annexe - from £3million to £2.35million.

  • Literally, a shit set this week - with a constipation-themed bit of bad stand-up, from a guy called Pete Clarke:

  • Nigella Lawson says she's such a fan of her friend Sacha Baron Cohen's alter ego Bruno that she named her son after him – 12 years ago.

  • ‘I guess it’s difficult to be my fan. I’m always going to do something that annoys you.’ Brendon Burns

  • With its misspelled names, ridiculous quotes and preposterous idea that the Edinburgh Comedy Awards could get by on £99-a-year sponsorship a year, surely only an idiot would have fallen for comedian Lewis Schaffer's bogus press release claiming the former Perriers were to be named after him? Erm, it appears not. Edinburgh magazine The List published the information, almost verbatim, as real news. Not surprisingly, the item has now vanished from its website. But maybe the mag can take some consolation in the fact Schaffer was dumped by his agents, Mike Leigh Associates, in the wake of the stunt.

  • Move over Paxman. Here's comic Toby Foster giving Doncaster's new English Democrat mayor Peter Davies a well-deserved rough ride in a brilliant interview on his BBC Radio Sheffield show. Click here to listen.

  • Finally, the latest comedian cock description, courtesy of Holy Moly. Apparently, Steve Coogan’s is ‘above average in size, aesthetically pleasing, and when I was introduced to it about six years ago, free of pox of any kind. He behaved impeccably - not sleazy, nothing kinky, just a good old-fashioned one-night stand. He was sweet, a little shy, and affectionate. I'd rate him 8/10 overall.’

SOURCES: Daily Mail, The Independent on Sunday, The Times, The Observer RichardHerring.com/Wikipedia, Sunday Times, YouTube, Daily Express, Metro, Chortle, BBC Radio Sheffield, Holy Moly

Published: 19 Jun 2009

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