Tweets of the week

Tweets of the week

You can now pay to get roasted in print by a professional rapper after your death. It's called a Yobitchuary

— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) July 20, 2023

There’s a new charity who put an abacus in my bra. They can count on my support.

— Sam (@sam_bambs) July 18, 2023

People who make coupons have their work cut out.

— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) July 16, 2023

BOSS: hard at work I see
ME: sorry, it's these tight jeans

— Marty Lawrence (@TeaAndCopy) July 21, 2023

Perfect for making myxomatoasties. pic.twitter.com/BA1wsyx6yY

— Flups (@TheRealFlups) July 19, 2023

I suffer from FOMO - fear of messing up acronyms.

— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) July 21, 2023

You should be able to plug your headphones into the hoover so you don’t wake anyone up

— Glenn Moore (@TheNewsAtGlenn) July 19, 2023

I put a bottle of Thatchers cider in my fridge yesterday, and when I woke this morning, the milk that was next to it had disappeared.

— Jason (@NickMotown) July 20, 2023

I hate when I grab a live wire and everyone sees my damn skeleton

— bergs (@aseriousmang) July 17, 2023

Published: 21 Jul 2023