
Can you explain these gaps in your CV?
Tweets of the week
Tweets of the week
Did the person who coined the phrase "one hit wonder" ever come up with anything else?
— M❍n❍t❍ne❍fBill™ (@MonotoneofBill) June 28, 2023
One of the original Thunderbirds puppets has been seriously damaged in an arson attack. Police are holding a candlelit Virgil.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) June 26, 2023
we all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics)
— erika mack (@yeeeerika) June 27, 2023
You can make a catchy beat using a snare drum.
— Jason (@NickMotown) June 27, 2023
[Job interview]
— Craig Deeley (@craiguito) June 28, 2023
"Can you explain these gaps in your CV?"
"Yes, they’re so the words aren’t all joined together"
*rolls eyes to self*
I’m sorry but you can’t attend a clown convention and not expect to tread on a few toes.
— Moose Allain (@MooseAllain) June 24, 2023
The cashier told me "Strip Down Facing Me"
— mariana Z (@mariana057) June 28, 2023
By the time I realised she meant the debit card, It was too late.
Rick Astley is such a rare & raw talent, & also a very generous man. He came to my kids' school once, spoke at assembly & sang a song. He then gifted the entire Disney back catalogue to the drama dept, except one film about a house with an old fella who used to sell balloons.
— Maf (@Mafer1ck) June 24, 2023
The second rule of Fight Club is you have to bring cakes in when its your birthday.
— GlennyRodge (@GlennyRodge) June 30, 2023
Manic Street Preachers loved Glastonbury so much, they're going on a camping tour of the UK
— Enough Of That Now (@AndyGilder) June 26, 2023
If they tolerate Diss, then the Chilterns will be next
The Final Boss of dad jokes. pic.twitter.com/mGo8oqT4J4
— Michael Marshall Smith (@ememess) June 29, 2023
gonna start signing off my emails with "the prophecy has been fulfilled"
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) June 30, 2023
Published: 30 Jun 2023