If Batman did Wordle
Tweets of the week
my grief counselor died today but she was so good at her job i don't even give a shit
— dr. alien skier (@clichedout) February 22, 2022
I went to an acupuncturist and it felt like he’d stuck pins in me before. Turns out it was deja voodoo.
— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) February 19, 2022
HISTORICAL FACT: Henry VIII’s second wife, Anne Boleyn was tried and found guilty of treason. However, her brother Wom was found not guilty so went free.
— Flups (@TheRealFlups) February 23, 2022
*rereads text*
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) February 22, 2022
"The funeral's going to be a sombre affair"
*takes off Mexican hat*
how many times do u think Oscar the grouch saw a drunk guys dick as they pissed directly into his house
— ɢʀᴇɢɢʏ (@itmegreggy) February 24, 2022
Met Everlast from House of Pain in John Lewis today. In the bedding section. He came to get down.
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) February 23, 2022
Shoutout to everyone who’s never had an identity crisis. You know who you are.
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) February 23, 2022
Her skin was like porcelain. Toiletface, they called her.
— He Called Me Greenhorn (@WhatsAGreenhorn) January 26, 2022
[seance]
— Moose Allain Ꙭ (@MooseAllain) February 25, 2022
spiritualist: hello, is anybody there?
spirit: new glass who dis?
Batman:
— 🦕pat.🦕 (@patsatweetin) February 21, 2022
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
⬛⬛⬛🟩🟩
Robin: IT DOESNT FUCKING START WITH BAT
Live comedy picks
Gig of the day
Emmanuel Sonubi: Curriculum Vitae
Guildford G Live
from 19:30
Book Now
Iain Stirling: Relevant
York Grand Opera House
Sunday 28th Apr from 20:00Book now
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Romesh Ranganathan: Hustle
Brighton Dome
Saturday 27th Apr from 20:00Book now
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Daniel O’Reilly: Out Of Character
Cardiff New Theatre
Friday 17th MayBook now
Gig of the day
MC Hammersmith: Straight Outta Brompton
Cambridge Junction
from 19:30
Book Now
Richard Herring: Can I Have My Ball Back?
St Albans Alban Arena
Thursday 9th May from 19:00Book now