Kids' favourite dad jokes revealed | New poll for Father's Day

Kids' favourite dad jokes revealed

New poll for Father's Day

British children have chosen their funniest ‘dad joke’ of all time.

According to the poll of 2,000 7 to 12-year-olds the best gag is:  Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

The survey was commissioned by to mark Father’s Day this weekend.

The top gags were: 

1 Why did the crab never share? - Because he's shellfish.

2 Did you hear the rumour about butter? - Well, I’m not going to spread it!

3 What do you call a man who can’t stand? - Neil.

4 I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro - It’s a total rip off!

5 Dad, did you get a haircut? - No, I got them all cut.

6 I keep trying to lose weight…. - …but it keeps finding me.

7 What do you call a bear without any teeth? - A gummy bear!

8 Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? - He couldn't see himself doing it.

9 You know what the loudest pet you can get is? - A trumpet.

10 Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands? - Because they are extinct.

11 I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day… - … but I couldn’t find any.

12 Why did the picture go to jail? - Because it was framed.

13 Have you ever tried to eat a clock? - Its very time consuming.

14 What kind of tea you drink with the Queen? - Royal tea.

15 What did the drummer call his twin daughters? - Anna one, Anna two!

16 How do you cut the ocean in half? - With a sea-saw

17= I don't trust stairs. - They're always up to something

17= Why did the tomato blush? - Because it saw the salad dressing.

19 Where do you learn to make ice cream? - Sundae school.

20 What do you call a small mother? - A minimum

Despite the reputation of dad jokes being cringe-worthy, three-quarters of kids said that they smile or laugh when their dad tells them jokes.

However, two-thirds said their dad has embarrassed them in front of their friends by telling cringey puns in the past.

Almost all of the children polled – 92 per cent – agreed that their father’s sense of humour is one of the best things about him.

Published: 14 Jun 2019

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