New poll for Father's Day

British children have chosen their funniest ‘dad joke’ of all time.

According to the poll of 2,000 7 to 12-year-olds the best gag is:  Why did the crab never share? Because he's shellfish.

The survey was commissioned by Beano.com to mark Father’s Day this weekend.

The top gags were: 

1 Why did the crab never share? - Because he's shellfish.

2 Did you hear the rumour about butter? - Well, I’m not going to spread it!

3 What do you call a man who can’t stand? - Neil.

4 I wouldn’t buy anything with velcro - It’s a total rip off!

5 Dad, did you get a haircut? - No, I got them all cut.

6 I keep trying to lose weight…. - …but it keeps finding me.

7 What do you call a bear without any teeth? - A gummy bear!

8 Why did the invisible man turn down the job offer? - He couldn't see himself doing it.

9 You know what the loudest pet you can get is? - A trumpet.

10 Why can’t T-Rexes clap their hands? - Because they are extinct.

11 I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day… - … but I couldn’t find any.

12 Why did the picture go to jail? - Because it was framed.

13 Have you ever tried to eat a clock? - Its very time consuming.

14 What kind of tea you drink with the Queen? - Royal tea.

15 What did the drummer call his twin daughters? - Anna one, Anna two!

16 How do you cut the ocean in half? - With a sea-saw

17= I don't trust stairs. - They're always up to something

17= Why did the tomato blush? - Because it saw the salad dressing.

19 Where do you learn to make ice cream? - Sundae school.

20 What do you call a small mother? - A minimum

Despite the reputation of dad jokes being cringe-worthy, three-quarters of kids said that they smile or laugh when their dad tells them jokes.

However, two-thirds said their dad has embarrassed them in front of their friends by telling cringey puns in the past.

Almost all of the children polled – 92 per cent – agreed that their father’s sense of humour is one of the best things about him.

Published: 14 Jun 2019