'A punch in the face is quicker than court'

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

  • News from the set of the Inbetweeners movie: Simon Bird had to vomit over a crowd of extras. Nice.

  • Simon Day reckons ‘stand-up is now a career option for people who aren’t funny’. He added: ‘I did a gig and there was a guy on the bill who was really professional but he wasn’t funny. Someone told me he’d learned how to do it on a stand-up course at college. I believe comedians should be proper comics and maybe look a bit odd rather than a guy in a T-shirt who says: “Isn’t it funny when you go into the Apple Store and…” But maybe I would say that because I’m an old man.’

  • Despite being a serial victim of joke theft, Milton Jones says the comedy circuit is pretty good at policing itself. ‘Someone getting a punch in the face backstage is a lot quicker than going to court,’ he said. There is a lot of money at stake in the stand-up world now and no one should be making a living off stolen goods.’

  • 21-year-old Olivia Ketchell, of Whitley Bay, has had Stephen Fry’s face – the version that appeared on the recent Walkers crisp packets –  tattooed on to her calf.

  • After 20 solid minutes of heckling at Joker’s Wild in New Haven, Connecticut, compere Pat Oates decided to bring his nemesis on stage. The result is as much as a car crash as you’d expect:

  • Dawn French is back dating, eight months after her divorce from Lenny Henry, saying: ‘'I've got lots of interesting gentlemen callers - but I can make the choice... I'm trying to have a bit of fun every now and again. But I am not a predator, I am not going out looking.'

  • Noel Fielding was mistaken for a girl by BBC Wimbledon commentator Boris Becker after being picked out by the cameras. The Mighty Boosh star took it in good grace, though, saying: ‘I’ve got a lot of respect for him - I mean I wouldn’t get in a cupboard with him, but I do like him a lot. He’s a cool character. I’d like to challenge Boris to a Swingball match Imagine that? You and me - my garden. Man to man. Or man to girl.’

  • Mind you, not everyone at the All-England club was happy to see Fielding on Centre Court... The chatty comic got told to ‘shush’ by a tennis fan in the seat behind him, who admonished him: ‘‘Do you mind? Are you going to talk like that through the whole thing?’.

  • Tweets Of The Week:
    @Richard Wiseman: Just bought box of animal crackers but not eating them because the seal was broken.
    NickMotown: When Jeffrey Archer describes someone as being 'in his bad books', it requires quite a bit of narrowing down.
    @GlennyRodge: ‘My wife's going on holiday to South America.’ ‘Venezuela?’ ‘Since when has “to venezuele” been a verb?’ ‘I was guessing the country.’ ‘Oh.’

SOURCES: Club 18-30’s Free magazine, Metro, Irish Times, YouTube, Now magazine, BBC Sport, BBC Sport, Newcastle Chronicle, Twitter

Published: 24 Jun 2011

Live comedy picks

We see you are using AdBlocker software. Chortle relies on advertisers to fund this website so it’s free for you, so we would ask that you disable it for this site. Our ads are non-intrusive and relevant. Help keep Chortle viable.