Is he putting cocaine on his dick?

WTF: Weekly Triva File

  • ‘A Scotch egg is the most evil snack imaginable for a vegetarian. Because it has death on the outside, and the potential for life within.’ Russell Kane

  • Blaxploitation actress Pam Grier says that going out with Richard Pryor had its downside. In her new autobiography Foxy: My Life in Three Acts, she recalls her doctor telling her she had a build-up of cocaine residue around the cervix and in the vagina. After assuring him she wasn’t doing drugs, her doctor said: ‘It’s really dangerous… Is your partner putting cocaine on his penis to sustain his erection?’ ‘No,’ she replied. ‘Not that I know of. It’s not like he has a pile of cocaine next to the bed and he dips his penis in it before we have sex.’ ‘Are you sure he isn’t doing it in the bathroom before he comes to bed?’ the doctor asked. ‘ That’s a possibility,’ she said. ‘You know, I am dating Richard Pryor.’ The doctor replied: ‘Oh, my God, we have a serious problem here. If he’s not putting it on his skin directly, then it’s worse because the coke is in his seminal fluid.’ The doctor then asks her if her mouth went numb while performing oral sex on Pryor, and she says it did. She left him soon afterwards…

  • Stand-up Janey Godley says that when she was a pub landlady in the East End of Glasgow, she short-changed Gordon Brown twice in a row, just to see if he would notice the financial irregularity. He didn’t. ‘I decided maybe he couldn’t add up,’ she says.

  • Jason Bryne says he hopes his appearance on Marco’s Kitchen Burnout will help his sex life. He said: ‘It’s going to be great in the bedroom, isn't it? I'm going to get way more sex. Food can go straight to a woman's heart - and maybe other places.’ In another interview, he also said: ‘I don’t want to do telly for the sake of doing telly.’ Which makes you wonder why he’s on a cookery show…

  • John Cleese has a new girlfriend – 31 years his younger. The 70-year-old says his relationship with Jennifer Wade, 39, is ‘a disgrace’, but that she is the ‘most playful creature’.

  • Michael McIntyre is fed up of seeing his face on the telly. He said the constant re-runs of his Comedy Roadshow means people are getting tired of his material. He said: ‘The BBC repeat shows so much that people think I’m actually doing the show again. They come up to me saying, “When are you going to get some new material?” I say, “It was a repeat – it wasn’t me doing it all again.”’

  • Daniel Kitson has shaved off his trademark beard.

  • Appalling audience member of the week:

  • Mat Horne is so convincing as Culture Club drummer Jon Moss in the new BBC Two biography, Worried About The Boy, that Boy George – Moss’s former lover - has admitted fancying him. He said: ‘Yes, I find him sexy. Matt Horn-y. You pronounce it Matt Hor-NAY.’

  • After South Park’s run-in with radical Muslims, The Simpsons offered their support – kind of… The opening gag in this week’s show saw Bart writing lines on the blackboard: ‘South Park – we’d stand beside you if we weren’t so scared.’

  • Reginald D Hunter trained at RADA but says wasn't taken seriously as an actor. He tells tonight’s Friday Night With Jonathan Ross: ‘I went to auditions and they said we’re not doing Othello this year.’

  • Karl Pilkington says Ricky Gervais has opened doors for him ‘but not in a good way’ The Ricky Gervais Show patsy says: ‘He opens the locks on toilet doors with a coin when I'm using them.’

SOURCES: Sunday Mirror , Jezebel, Chortle, STV/Digital Spy, Graham Norton Show, The Sun, Chortle, The Mirror, The Sun, Friday Night Jonathan Ross, Time

Published: 30 Apr 2010

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