Eli Matthewson on the best and worst of the Edinburgh Fringe

Award-winning Kiwi comedian Eli Matthewson is back at the Edinburgh Fringe with Night Terror, a story about when his  boyfriend tried to kill him in my sleep. Here he shares what he can't get enough of at the festival, his most embarrassing Edinburgh experience and the worst thing about the Fringe. Apart from the cost of accommodation, obviously…

Edinburgh Binge

There’s a magic shop in Grassmarket where I made the purchase of the century. I can’t remember the name of the shop, but I can only assume it is still doing a thriving business, as there is one thing that never goes out of style: magic.

I am not a frequenter of magic shops, but I was drawn to this one. I was drawn to it because Paul Williams was having his birthday lunch at Pizza Express, I had forgotten to buy a present, and the shop was about twenty metres ahead of that Pizza Express. I spent less than three minutes in the shop, instantly seeing the perfect present: Fake Biscuit Prank.

Fake Biscuit Prank was a plastic biscuit that looked like one of those lovely Belgium Biscuits. The way this fantastical prop works is that you offer someone a biscuit, they happily take it and then when they bite into the plastic, everyone laughs and laughs.

When I tell you this biscuit successfully pranked a true array of some of the most intelligent and brilliant stand-ups from all around the world, I am only slightly exaggerating. It had a staggering success rate. The prankee was not always laughing, though, and one member of a pretty legendary sketch group, who I will not name, did have a response that was deemed ‘too sad to post on Instagram’.

I have no idea where the biscuit is now, but I do know that I will be visiting that magic shop again, on my way to Pizza Express, to help the birthday boy, Paul Williams, do some classic pranks once again.

Edinburgh Cringe

 The Bubble Man walked out of my show. I only had one walkout the entire month, a man sat in the back for the first five minutes and then made a noisy exit. When the show finished, my angel of a tech, Derek, said to me: ‘Do you know who that was, who walked out?’

‘No,’ I replied.

‘That was the Bubbleman. I’m so sorry,’ Derek said and then gave me a hug.

Now I still do not know who the Bubbleman is, but I can only assume the show was not his cup of tea. There weren’t any bubbles in the first five minutes of the show, and I guess that must have upset him. And look, if he had stayed, he would have been disappointed. There actually were no bubbles in the show, and there won’t be any bubbles in this year’s show. 

But if you see him, please tell him there are. Please tell the Bubbleman, whoever that is, that I am ending my show with the most elaborate bubble return seen at the Fringe. Because I would love him to stick around this year!

Edinburgh Whinge

Allow me to be a big hipster for just a second when I say… Scotland, where’s the kombucha at? There comes a point at the Fringe where you are just flinging yourself from store to store looking for one single healthy thing to put in your body and atone for all the Nutella crepes and three-cheese toasties you have consumed. The answer should be kombucha, but it’s nowhere.

Not to brag about my beautiful corner of the world, but it’s not just flat whites we do better here in New Zealand. We have plentiful varieties of the ‘booch, in all sorts of tasty flavours. Lemon, lime and mint is my personal fave, but I wouldn’t say no to ginger lemon or a watermelon squash.

These tasty beverages that have no sugar and also taste a little tiny bit like vomit make me feel like I am taking care of myself on some small level.

How exactly is kombucha good for you? This I don’t really know - but I know it is meant to be good! It helps your gut somehow. Keeps you regular? Slows you down? I’m not sure what it is doing, but enough people have told me it is good for you that I will continue to use it to offset the rest of my diet wherever I can.

But the problem is… Edinburgh is not somewhere I can. The ‘booch just isn’t available, and I am ready to march in the streets to get it into those fridges.

• Eli Matthewson: Night Terror  is on at 8.50pm in Underbelly George Square during the Edinburgh Fringe.

Published: 24 Jul 2025