Hatty Ashdown on the 'secret' many comedians don't like to talk about

A lot of comedians have a secret gig that only their accountant knows about. It’s in the day and it pays much better – a salaried job!

Most comedians don’t hand in their notice the first night after doing a three-minute set in a stinky room above a pub in North London, unless maybe mummy and daddy can sub you for the rent to allow you to be a working comic.

But this isn’t another moan about nepotism or rich relatives giving some people a leg-up to have an unfair speed run at becoming a successful stand-up because they can afford to write and perform every day without the worry of ‘cockroaches climbing the walls’. (OK, I went a bit Jarvis there). As I said, this is not one of those bashes, well I’ll try not to make it one.

After more than ten years in comedy and 20 years self-employed I recently had to get a fixed employment doing what I consider a ‘normal’ proper day job. Why? Obviously because I wanted to be among ‘real’ people to find more material…

Did I heck! I needed regular income.

I guess some could say I've been lucky that ever since I left university I haven’t had to get a proper job. Don't get me wrong, comedy, writing and acting has not been enough to pay the bills. I’ve endured the joys of promo work, sales, temping on reception, teaching assistant, care assistant for autistic adults, but the difference was all those were always temporary and flexible, for me to do gigs and auditions.

Now I’ve got two sprogs that depend on both me and my husband to put beans and toast on the table, it's a different ball game. So, goodbye temp jobs, hello salaried permanent work.

I chose to get a nice little job in a charity shop. To answer your question, yes they have paid positions, I’m not just paying myself in clothes and little china dogs.

It's been quite the shock to the system – I’m not talking about standing up all day, sorting out people’s old shit, low pay and difficult bosses – but how I felt embarrassed and didn’t want to mention it to other comics. Even writing this I feel like I’m exposing a secret, paranoid you're judging me: oh she's not a real comic, she has a ‘normal’ job too.

So, to try to understand this feeling a bit more, I decided to speak to some other professional comics to see if I was right. Award-winning comedian Kathryn Mather has a day job as an admin for the NHS. She told me an American comic once said backstage: ‘I wouldn't mention your day job on stage,’ as though her admitting she was an employee was a secret that would ruin the illusion for audiences.

Mather started out as a comic a decade ago after university and said that whilst she did stand-up ‘full-time’ for a while, the pressure to find enough gigs to cover the cost of living took the enjoyment out of comedy.

Tadiwa Mahlunge, a young rising comic, told me he did try to be a full-time stand-up, but the money wasn't good enough to allow him to remain living in London, so he chose to go back to working the day job. 'I’m a software engineer so my day job is naturally high paid. To leave work I’d have to be in such a [similarly-paid] position in stand-up and I don’t see that happening for another ten years.’

It seems there's a hidden world of comics who also have day jobs - well, hidden to me at least. And to be clear, I’m not talking about those that do a bit of writing for TV, edit commercials, voiceover work - these are all freelance creative self-employed things and therefore flexible.

What we’re looking at here are salaried 9-5 jobs alongside the evening gigs. The hardest thing for me just this last week was missing out on an audition. I was dreading this day coming. After years of building my reputation up as a performer, a fully paid-up member of Spotlight and Equity, this was a new one for me. But, given my boss was pretty annoyed about me taking time off for a funeral, trying to swap days for an audition just wasn't worth the aggro.

Irish comedian John Meagher is proud of keeping the day job as a stock and operations manager for a club. ‘I’m not embarrassed at all by it - I’m working class… working two jobs is the exact opposite of embarrassing for me.’

This was refreshing to me and what I needed to hear. It helps John that his employers are very supportive, even happy for him to tour last year with Patrick Kielty, provided he’s getting the work done in between. I guess this is key to the day job and stand up balance, being helped to do both rather than hindered.

This is not a new phenomenon, of course. Comedians Clive Anderson and Bob Mortimer were still solicitors when they started out in comedy and Bob’s company even kept his job open for him when he filmed Vic Reeves’ Big Night Out in case that didn’t work out. And that solicitor training came in handy on that infamous Brits when Jarvis Cocker jumped on stage with Michael Jackson, Bob stood in as his solicitor.

So, day jobs and stand-up can work well together. But for me, I’m writing this article in the back room at work so I’ll probably be getting my P45 soon anyway. I don't have a good track record for keeping proper jobs, I guess it goes with the territory of being a comic, some of us aren't cut out for it. Oh well, at least it’ll give me some good material.

• Hatty Ashdown is performing her show The Worry Drawer at the Leicester Comedy Festival at 8pm on Sunday at the Big Difference.

Published: 15 Feb 2023