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'Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts...'

Tweets of the week

Joyful AND triumphant? READ THE ROOM
— Bewg (@bewgtweets) December 21, 2021

"Tonight you will be visited by three ghosts, and you won’t believe what number two will tell you!"
- A Christmas Clickbait
— paul bassett davies (@thewritertype) December 16, 2021

Actually Frankincense was the name of the perfume’s creator.
— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) December 22, 2021

I'm not sure about making porridge with oat milk, it feels like boiling oats in the blood of their fallen comrades.
— John (@sarcasticapple) December 22, 2021

Nick Cave's 'Red Right Hand' is probably my favourite song about playing Twister.
— T'Other Simon (@TOther_Simon) December 18, 2021

Lateral Flo. pic.twitter.com/Ow2KvzNlvo
— Jason Hazeley (@JasonHazeley) December 23, 2021

You say that it’s fucked that gingerbread men live in gingerbread houses, but to a gingerbread person, gingerbread is as inscrutable and fundamental as carbon. The people and homes are no more alike than humans are to diamonds. Only we, their gods and creators, can see the horror
— Ethan Hardy (@ethanhardy) December 21, 2021