Miley Cyrus joke wins Christmas contest

Comedian Richard Woolford has won a £5,000 competition to modernise the traditional Christmas cracker joke, with a pun about Miley Cyrus.

His gag – What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky – scooped top prize in the contest run by comedy channel Gold to find original festive gags.

The Twitter-friendly one-liner scooped the top place in a survey of 2,000 adults, after being shortlisted by judges.

Woolford, who previously won a short film competition run by Dave’s Leicester Comedy Festival, has recently returned to comedy after overcoming cancer.

He said ‘I’m totally amazed and can’t believe it!  I now hope Twerking becomes a new Christmas tradition - are you listening Nan? 

‘This has been a phenomenal year and a great welcome back into comedy for me. All I want to do is write comedy professionally, and hopefully this is another step closer to my dream.

The full top ten was:

1.    What does Miley Cyrus have at Christmas? Twerky.

2.    Why did no-one bid for Rudolph and Blitzen on eBay? Because they were two deer.

3.    Mary and Joseph - now they had a stable relationship.

4.    What does the Queen call her Christmas Broadcast? The One Show.

5.    What did Santa do when he went speed dating? He pulled a cracker

6.    Why don't you ever see Santa in hospital? Because he has private elf care.

7.    How did Mary and Joseph know that Jesus was 7lb 6oz when he was born? They had a weigh in a manger.

8.    Why is it getting harder to buy Advent calendars? Because their days are numbered.

9.    How do you know if Santa's been in your garden shed? You've got three extra hoes.

10.  Why was the Brussels sprout sent to prison? Because it was a repeat offender.

The competition, which Gold ran via Twitter, was inspired by a survey of which found that 72 per cent of Britons believe that cracker jokes are outdated. The new gags have been incorporated into some Gold-branded crackers, which are now on sale.

Comedy critic Bruce Dessau, who headed the judging panel said: ‘Reading all the entries certainly showed me that Brits always have plenty of gags up their sleeve! 

‘Using Twitter not only helped keep the jokes short and sharp, but we also saw a number of pop culture icons included in the festive mix – truly updating the cracker jokes for families to enjoy as they tuck into their turkey this year.’

Published: 10 Dec 2013