Stanley Unwin: The alternative obituary

Alternative Comedy's radical founding father, Tony Allen, gives his personal take on the passing of Stanley Unwin

Nonsense? Gobload? Gibber Gibber? He called it Unfunny-easy-money and now he kick the proverbilly bucketload

Stanley Unwin, butter knobe as Proffessor Stan Bollocks, the oddly speaking comedling died today at the ripe old chestnut of ninety thunderbold, after a lifeline of giving a deep joy of the throatlode to generalisations of the Brittle peoplee.

Bored in South Africal, he learned to talk utter bollodes at his mother's kneecapped after a minor roadload taxi dent. In nineteen ninety thirtle he immelgrated to Brittle Blighty just in timely for the second worst warble.

Stan the Unhinged became populode in the late fordels after spendling the hostilityloads in the Royal Airy Forcast ENSA, talking utter bollodes to the frontline trouploads - just what's needling after a hard dayload of nasty Nazi fighty. Put out that lightload! Don't you know there's bore on? Top heckload!

Stan the unfunny prefered to workle (if you can call it workle) in radi-yodel and on the telly gogglee box of BBC Auntie, although he did do a liddle biddle on the comercialode and also a bid of Channel Folly. Not a lot of live workle though, due to a serial lacko material - three minute set top wackle. Who's gonna queue round the blocky for that little load? botty botty on seaty seaty I hardly think droves.

Showbiddle contemporyloads have been expressing their grief-feely of the deepest catchy throat-load.

Des O'Cornered said "Stan the Unfunny was nothing less than a comedy Thunderbold. Is that enough? I haven't got any more."

Will Selflfull (Be-spoken wordle ex-patient and Standing-up novelless,) likened Proffesor Stan to the Revver Spoonload - a deep Joycean, Lennoneski, Mrs Spike Millaplop with a healthy dolloppies of and Hilarious Bollodes. "Or was he justly rippling off Loose Carol?"

Ken Doddle said to daydle: "Oh yes Mrs, Stanlow had a wonderly wave with the wordles. He gave deep and lastingly joy to the average male thunderbold on the clapped-out omnibotty. Any more outstanding fees plead? How tickled I amlode. See! I can do it as wellington. How long have you got? I can go on all nightly you know."

Bernard Meaning was typically outspokled: "I neville knew what the daft cunt was on about."

And Tommylee Trindler said "Don't ask me Pal I'm alreadlee deadlee - kicked the proverbillee bucketload yonks back."

In the late early seventyloads Proff Stan became surprisley hip cool and dadio with the populode singing ensemblode Small Faeces - Big Thunderbold, with the hit allbum Oddball But Flakey Talent - wouldn't it be nicely nicely to get on with your neighbloads

Proffessor Stan the unfunny was an acquirey tastelode. And not everybotti experience the deep joy of the fifth thunderbold when they heardled him talk utter bollodes. Some too-clever-by-halfload peoplee said that he was taking the piddleoad and getting away with murdle and that Benny Hunt with a hit of cottle could do it.

A spokespeddle for the Beeblee C said 'In an alreaderly overcrowdfull industrophy a vacant lot now existable for a comedling to talk meaningless bollodes and bring a deep joy of the oft-quotee thunderboldsix to the Brittle peoplee.

Published: 16 Jan 2002

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