Have you ever been called a nickname you didn't like? | The penultimate Emergency Question from Richard Herring's stash

Have you ever been called a nickname you didn't like?

The penultimate Emergency Question from Richard Herring's stash

A guy at a supermarket I worked at when I was 16 thought it would be fun to refer to me as The Claw because of my birth defect on my hand. This didn't end well for him, I signed him up to loads over overtime and nightshifts without him knowing.    Richard Stott: Right Hand Man, Gilded Balloon, 12:45

As a child, my sisters called me Lukeylocks, because I used to have long flowing hair and a history of breaking and entering.     Luke Rollason's Infinite Content, Monkey Barrel, 12:00

As a teenager I was very tall and thin, so Oli in my class called me Garden Rake. I liked it at first because it got shortened to Rake, so I felt like some sort of Regency cad. But then, whenever it was windy outside, everyone would turn to me and whisper: ‘You’ve got your work cut out today’ or ‘Watch out for autumn!’ Eventually they cut to the chase and just left mounds of my leaves on my chair in every classroom. Alexander Fox, Snare, Pleasance, 18:00

Everyone in school called me Critter I think because I was conventionally attractive    Catherine Cohen, The Twist? She's Gorgeous, Pleasance, 22:45

Fartchie.   Archie Maddocks, Big Dick Energy, Mash House, 16:50

I never liked being called Doodler Dan, Mummy's Little Man. That's just one of many nicknames my Dad has for me.    Daniel Connell, Piece of Piss, Underbelly, 17:30

In the early noughties I got J-Lo, although in hindsight, that's actually pretty good.    Jon Long, Planet-Killing Machine, Underbelly Bristo Sq, 21:30

My entire family call me PD - short for the Poison Dwarf.    Laura Lexx: Knee Jerk, Gilded Balloon, 17:15

My name is too short for nicknames, so I used to called E. Which is just lazy, and an initial - and a wrong initial of Ian.  Ian Smith: Half-Life, Underbelly, 17:15

Since I was about 17 I've been called Malibu Jayne because I drank one litre of Malibu straight out the bottle on the way to a festival in Wales and was *a handful*.    Jayne Edwards is Top Bodybuilder Brian, Heroes @ Dragonfly, 22:00

Tickets for Richard Herring's Edinburgh show are available here.

Published: 24 Aug 2019

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