Where would you be if you weren't in Edinburgh this month? | Fringe comedians mull an alternative universe...

Where would you be if you weren't in Edinburgh this month?

Fringe comedians mull an alternative universe...

Staring at my social media feeds with hate-filled eyes as my friends enjoy all that Edinburgh has to offer.
The Prophetic Visions of Bethany Lewis, Underbelly Cowgate, 22:50

Probs leading The Resistance.
Tom Ballard: Problematic, Pleasance Courtyard, 20:30

I’d be at Anonimul. It’s an international film festival in a Romanian village on the Danube. You can only get there by boat. The place is obscure even to Romanian hipsters. I used to go there every summer before I discovered the Fringe.
Radu Isac: One Romanian Answering Questions, The Cellar Monkey, 15:45

On holiday on a Greek Island - I tell myself this every year. The weather in Edinburgh is a bit grim in comparison in August. I have to say I been to Edinburgh eight times in the last 10 years - so I clearly don't want to go to the Greek Islands.
Edward Aczel, Heroes @ The Hive, 18:15

I'd be back in Los Angeles doing extremely important Hollywood business (hiding in my apartment).
Sara Schaefer: Little White Box,Pleasance, 19:00

In Blackburn, my feet up on the sofa watching Orange is the New Black
Tez Ilyas: Teztify, The Pleasance Courtyard, 20:30

The last time I didn't at least visit the Fringe I was a teenager, so that's my only reference point. I guess I'd be off being a virgin and trying to finger someone? And smoking illegal (not for long) reefer.
Jack Barry: High Treason, Just the Tonic at The Mash House, 19:40

Teaching English as a foreign language to unimpressed and unimpressible Italian teenagers in London. I once taught Gucci's grandson - named Gucci Gucci. I mean, where is the imagination?
Naomi Sheldon: Good Girl, Just The Tonic At The Mash House, 13:00

In the hospital or dead. I wouldn't miss Edinburgh for the world.
Sofie Hagen: Dead Baby Frog, Bedlam Theatre, 14:00

In Northern Malaysia at a hotel called the Andaman where I'd be in the piano bar listening to mellow house jazz classics and sipping a cocktail served in a scooped out pineapple. Either that or in Glasgow.
Hardeep Singh Kohli: Alternative, Fact, Assembly George Square Studios, 17:15

In my office working on my opera, Oh Jeremy Corbyn, and trying to sell it to Glyndebourne
Bernie Keith: Life Without Sat Nav, Gilded Balloon, 20:45

Richard Gadd: Monkey See Monkey Do, Summerhall, 23:00

Published: 18 Aug 2017

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