Competition, schmompetition

Taylor Glenn dislikes comedy's competitive side

Nope, this isn't about comedy competitions, it's about comic competition. And how the world of social networking and long car journeys with other acts can either help you or drive you to paranoia and panic on the comedy circuit.

When it comes to my material and what I do onstage, I don't worry about the competition. Not because I think I'm the best at what I do, but because I think I know my voice and what I offer the audience. I'm confident in my ‘product’ and I get on with doing the best I can with it.

However, put me in a car with three comics who have all gigged at venues which I've never managed to get into, or I daresay, have never heard of, and the worst of my demons start growling.

Just for the sake of example: this past two weeks, I've been booked for three weekends at the Glee clubs, did my second open spot at the Comedy Store and got glowing feedback from the owner, got booked at Highlights for the first time, got booked for a run in a five-star hotel in Malta, had a request to do a big corporate gig, and in the meantime enjoyed some very good gigs all over the UK.

But what does my brain focus on? The fact that I've never even gotten in touch with a handful of other clubs which other comics threw out in conversation. I've failed and I'll never catch up, my brain tells me.

Then there's Facebook, which I'm unabashedly addicted to and use for both promotion and indulgent banter. And Twitter, which I've more recently come to use for both as well. They did a study a while back which established a positive link between social networking usage and negative comparisons/competition with others. Ironically, this was shared like mad on Facebook and Twitter.

But I can't blame the technology, really; it's simply harnessing that natural but destructive tendency we all have to compare and contrast, and keep up with the Joneses. In this case, however, the Joneses are an army of other comics who are all bashing away at the impossible dream of Reaching The Next Level in comedy. So rather than celebrating the successes, it's easy to panic over the holes on your CV.

And I'm expected to remember everybody's NAMES. Me, the girl who can go to a party and have to ask three times what someone's name is. It's not personal, it's not me being rude, it's my scattered brain taking in all the visuals of a person and thinking about their tone of voice and wondering whether they've always dressed like an 80s dorkster. . . and shit I've forgotten they have this name thing I need to hold onto in there.

Most comics can rattle off with ease the names and details of hundreds of other comics, both well known and obscure. I can name the ones I like, grew up watching, have seen enough of on TV and comedy sites to remember, and have worked enough with enough to remember not just their face but their name, which is likely to be Mark, Paul or Dan.

This puts me at a seeming disadvantage in the face of acts who seem to have memorized the entire repertoire of Chortle reviews and act titles. And if you've spent any time on this site you know that's a LOT.

Funny thing is, none of this translates to any resentment or bitterness towards others for me. It all goes inwards and makes me either 1) panic and worry I'm behind on my game or 2) work harder to keep rising.

I'm trying to keep it at number 2) as much as I can. And also remember that in the end, comparison and panic do absolutely fuck all to help any of us get better at our craft, or rise up in the ranks. Being kind and respectful to other acts and promoters, sharing tips and doing favours as much as you ask for them, and just working hard seems to be a much more sound approach. And we're supposed to have fun along the way, right?

Most comics also don't flaunt their CV, but rather share information generously and as a matter of conversation. We're self-centred by nature and we wanna talk shop ALL the time. But there's always that occasional little troll who does the eyebrow-raising, ‘Ooh, you've never played Jimbo’s Big Fat Titters Night in Oxblarge? Wow. how long you been going again?" and then you have to decide if you're gonna let the demons prevail.

Maybe I should take a break from Facebook. Maybe I need to just put up more filters when I sense people are trying to communicate in a competitive rather than supportive and curious way. I'm pretty good at reading intention, I just need to make sure I keep those little pesky demons at bay so I keep mine intact.

Wow, you made it to the end of this? Shit, please don't compare it to other Correspondents pieces, I'm just doing the best I can here…