The Varnishing Days is the heart-stopping, glasses-dropping, hard-rocking, wig-shaking, levothyroxine-taking, knee-knocking, boot-licking, justifying, teeth rattling, digressing new show from stand-up comedian to the stars John Kearns. Go silent as I walk on! Acknowledge when something funny happens! Leave discussing dinner plans! Others will be implicated. Points will be circled and missed. Hell, it’s a man trying his best! When I visit your town, dogs will start barking, as will clergy. Your microwave will go haywire. The lights in your vestibule will flicker and the Bank of England will nervously look at interest rates. On the day I write this, the pound has hit an all-time low against the dollar. Mark my words. This show will break that record again and again and again.
Upcoming Dates
Date: Sat 4 May 2024
Venue: Hove The Old Market
Price: £20.50
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)
Date: Fri 17 May 2024
Venue: Hull Truck Theatre
Price: £20.00
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)
Date: Sun 19 May 2024
Venue: Coventry Warwick Arts Centre
Price: £18.50
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)
Date: Sat 25 May 2024
Venue: Leeds City Varieties
Price: £19.50
Show starts: 19:30 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)
Date: Thu 13 Jun 2024
Venue: Salford Lowry
Price: £20.00
Show starts: 20:00 (Doors open approx 30 mins earlier)
Reviews
John Kearns: The Varnishing Days
The thing about appearing on Taskmaster, John Kearns notes, is that ‘ticket sales go up… but the laughs, they go down.
22/06/2023