My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo...
Tweets of the week
My plan to permanently colour one testicle was diabolical.
— Olaf Falafel (@OFalafel) July 24, 2021
England can be divided into two parts: Nottingham and Tingham
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) July 29, 2021
My boyfriend told me to stop acting like a flamingo so I had to put my foot down
— Robyn (@RawBeanCoal) July 25, 2021
I don’t know which cat needs to hear this, but: pspspspspspspspspspsps
— Bethany Black 🏳️⚧️🏳️🌈twitch.tv/beffernieblack (@BeffernieBlack) July 29, 2021
A bunch of opticians is called a focus group
— Craig Deeley 🇪🇺🏳️🌈 (@craiguito) July 30, 2021
My son thinks the T in t-shirt stands for Tyrannosaurus. When questioned on why it might be that, he said it’s because the shirts have tiny arms.
— Steaming Jobbie Trousers (@PixelGuff) July 24, 2021
Does anyone want to buy some second hand boots? Slide into my DMs.
— Gary Delaney is on tour now (@GaryDelaney) July 30, 2021
Sandy from the first half of Grease and Leather trousers Sandy would make the perfect lesbian couple.
— Rosie Jones (@josierones) July 28, 2021
Published: 30 Jul 2021