How to survive the toilet paper shortage
Tweets of the week
Day 36 of self-isolation. Something falls through the letterbox. It's a note from DHL. It says "sorry you weren't in"
— HRH Prince Pessimus Prime Duke of Everything (@BigJDubz) March 17, 2020
I’d never heard of Coronavirus until a couple of months ago and already it’s closing Glastonbury.
— Michael Legge (@michaellegge) March 18, 2020
Very worrying to hear Coronavirus has already reached the ‘Pyramid’ stage. https://t.co/1HwO6tYZKH
— Tiernan Douieb (@TiernanDouieb) March 18, 2020
Hi guys because of the toilet roll shortage everybody needs to seriously start putting their poo back up their bottom and keeping it there till this whole thing is sorted
— Matt Lucas (@RealMattLucas) March 14, 2020
Shakespeare wrote King Lear while in quarantine. Newton invented calculus. I just sent an email that ended 'Best regarbs'.
— Damien Owens (@OwensDamien) March 18, 2020
So apparently you can’t say computer virus anymore, it’s PC gone mad.
— Jake Lambert (@LittleLostLad) March 14, 2020
Jessie Ware's gran has NO idea of the scale of her success. She's Una Ware
— Sanjeev Kohli (@govindajeggy) March 16, 2020
Even the word pirate only has one I.
— Gary Delaney (@GaryDelaney) March 16, 2020
My cleaner walked out the other day. I miss her. She’s left a vacuum.
— Andy Dutton (@Andy_Dutton) March 19, 2020
Published: 20 Mar 2020