Never mind the books, cocks

WTF: Weekly Triva File

  •  'I look cute and on drugs? That's perfect for Courtney Love'  Noel Fielding

  • Russell Brand seemed to pick up a shop assistant when he visited Agent Provocateur in New York. The girl ran after him as they left and he appeared to hand over his phone number ... which might come as a surprise for whoever it was he was buying lingerie for in the first place.

  • Like many Brits, How Not To Live Your Life star Dan Clark found he didn't really fit in when he visited Hollywood to try to break into the States. 'I went into one meeting,' he said, 'round this table that seats, like, literally 100 people, like in The Hudsucker Proxy. And they made me sit at the top, like I’m some kind of comedy dad. And they go, ‘Dan, what’s your dream? What kind of films do you want to make?’ And I just started giggling in this nervous British manner because I’m more used to being in Blockbusters in Kennington, being asked what films I want to rent.'

  • Alan Carr: 'I don’t really understand cricket. I like rounders, though. Is it the same?'

  • YouTube clip of the week:

  • Headline about Simon Amstell's upcoming tour dates: 'Never mind the books cocks star coming to Morecambe.' See here

  • Kevin Bishop has clear ideas about what's offensive or not. He's happy to joke about serial killer Fred West or Stephen Hawking's disability, but dead suspected paedophiles are off the radar. 'I'm not going to do a sketch about Jade Goody, Michael Jackson and Maddie McCann. Those sort of things aren't really funny,' said Bishop - whose last series was one of the most complained-about shows on Channel 4.

  • Scottish stand-up Susan Calman's dad is Sir Kenneth Calman, former chief medical officer for England and Scotland.

  • Talking of Scottish comics, Janey Godley says she 'killed a pensioner' by delaying a train. She was in Pitlochry in February, set to head for the Highlands, but because the tracks were blocked with snow, she decided to return to Glasgow – and they held the train up for her to allow time to buy a ticket. 'Eight minutes after the train left, an old man crossed the line and was killed,' she said. 'Then a guard came up to me and looked me right in the eye and said if we'd left on time we wouldn't have killed a man. He looked at me hard, with cold blame in his eyes. And I felt terrible.'

  • Barry Humphries owns 25,000 books.

  • Spotted: Peter Kay at Manchester's 24:7 Theatre Festival in Manchester, watching The Last Chair: an absurd comedy about the only chair left in in the world,

  • Todd Phillips, director of The Hangover, has a jokey new idea for a family comedy: Night At The Holocaust Museum

SOURCES: E! News, thelondonpaper, The Times, Daily Star, Morecambe Platform, BBC News, Sunday Times, Glasgow Evening News, The Times, Popbitch, Daily Mirror, Chortle

Published: 31 Jul 2009

Today's comedy-on demand picks

SCOT SQUAD: THE CHIEF DOES THE NEW NORMAL

Scotland's chief commissioner Cameron Miekelson returns to give lifestyle tips and legal advice under the current government guidelines in this new mini-episode, thanks to comic Jack Docherty

Click for more suggestions
... including Geoff Norcott performing the show he should have taken to Edinburgh in his front room, and a Q&A with Paul Sinha.

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