Schalk Bezuidenhout on the best and worst of the Edinburgh Fringe

South African comedian Schalk Bezuidenhout is performing his show Keeping Up at the Edinburgh Fringe, at 5pm at Gilded Balloon Teviot, starting on Wednesday. Here he shares what he can't get enough of at the festival, his most embarrassing Edinburgh experience and the worst thing about the Fringe. Apart from the cost of accommodation, obviously…

Edinburgh binge

I love being a tour guide for friends and family who are coming to Fringe for the very first time! I think everyone remembers their first time (at Fringe, obviously) and how crazy and overwhelming it was. 

There’s also a lot of crap to sift through to get to the good stuff. Like, don’t travel all the way to Edinburgh Fringe and go do a whisky tasting. That’s just lame.

 I love being people’s guide and taking them straight to the source. The best bars, the worst (but best) late night food and of course the shows. I take them to all my favourite artists and of course I am that person who watches my friends throughout the entire performance to make sure they love it as much as I do.

 Which you could probably even include in Edinburgh cringe: that person that stares at you the entire show to make sure you laugh as much as they did when they first watched it. But seriously, I love seeing peoples’ eyes widen and the look on their faces when they are hit with the full-frontal sensory overload that is Edinburgh Fringe.

Edinburgh cringe

One of the most cringe things for any performer is when you invite people to the show and then it just happens to be your worst show of the Fringe.

I ran into a guy I was at school with. Now a chartered accountant. He was in Edinburgh with his family on holiday. Those kinds of people who go: ‘Oh we didn’t even know there was some kind of arts festival on…’ The guy, let’s call him Brandon, gives me that condescending look and asks if ‘this comedy thing’ is actually working out. 

Of course, I was funny in school, but am I actually making a career out of it? I proudly and confidently tell them that I just so happen to be doing pretty well actually! And then the big mistake… ‘why don’t you come to one of my shows while you guys are here?’

They came on a Monday night, which was my most quiet night of the Fringe ticket-sales-wise. Obviously minimal laughs. They sat there feeling sorry for me the entire show. After the show, before he could say anything, I said to him: ‘Luckily I have a rich wife, so she pays the bills while I’m out here living my passion.’

Edinburgh whinge

The worst part about Fringe is flyering. Hands down. I don’t care if you are the most humble person on Earth… flyering will bring you to a place of humbleness you didn’t even know existed. 

You have the people who walk past you and pretend to be blind, mute and deaf all at the same time, yet still somehow they can navigate exactly where they’re going.

You have the people who have reached breaking point and unleash their rage from the 10 previous flyerers on you. 

You have the sceptics who ask you to tell a joke first (as if you awkwardly doing one on one comedy on a street corner would convince them). 

You have the liars who say they are busy during that time without even looking on the flyer what time the show is. 

And then finally you have the people that give you false hope by taking a flyer with a smile, but dumping it in the first trash can they see. 

But still, we come back for more every year #lovemylife

Published: 29 Jul 2023