...or even a comedy review?

We set the Chat GPT some comedy-related tasks. Here's what it came up with...

Write a joke about Matt Hancock

Why did Matt Hancock cross the road?
To avoid being held accountable for the government's handling of the pandemic.

Write a joke about  Suella Braverman

Why did Suella Braverman quit her job?
She wanted to spend more time with her constituents... in the Brexit department.

Write a joke about Joe Biden

Why is Joe Biden always smiling?
Because he knows that even if he screws up, Kamala Harris will be there to fix it

Write a comedy routine about Donald Trump

I'm Donald Trump and I just wanted to say, I'm the best president there ever was. I have the biggest crowds, the best ratings, and I always win. I've done more for this country than anyone else. I built the best wall and Mexico paid for it, believe me. I'm making America great again and nobody can stop me. I have the biggest hands and the best hair, and I'm the smartest person in the room. I'm a stable genius and I have the best words. Trust me, I'm the best.

Write a joke about an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman going into a pub

Three men walk into a pub - an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman. They all order pints of beer and sit down to enjoy their drinks. The Englishman takes a sip of his beer and says, "Ah, this is a fine ale."

The Irishman takes a sip of his beer and says, "Aye, that's a good pint."

The Scotsman takes a sip of his beer and says, "Aye, that's a good pint. But where I come from, we have a better pub and better beer."

The Englishman and Irishman look at each other in surprise and ask, "Where's that?"

The Scotsman replies, "Just outside the door."

Write a joke about something in the news today

I'm sorry, but I am a large language model trained by OpenAI and my knowledge cutoff is from 2021. I do not have access to current news and events, so I am unable to write a joke about something in the news today.

Write a joke about 9/11

I'm sorry, but I am not programmed to generate jokes about sensitive or tragic events such as 9/11. It is important to consider the potential impact and consequences of making jokes about such events, as they can be offensive and hurtful to those who were directly affected. I am here to assist with a wide range of topics, but I am not able to provide jokes about sensitive or inappropriate subjects.

Write some puns Tim Vine could use

1. Why was the belt arrested? Because it held up a pair of pants!
2. Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!
3. Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side - duh!
4. Why couldn't the pirate play cards? Because he was sitting on the deck!

Tell me a surreal joke

Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!

(This joke is considered surreal because it presents a situation - a math book being sad - that is highly unlikely and outside of the realm of normal experience.)

Write a comedy routine Joe Rogan could use

Joe Rogan: Hey, what's up everybody? I'm Joe Rogan and I'm here to talk to you about some of the craziest things I've ever seen.

First off, have you ever seen a squirrel try to climb up a tree backwards? It's hilarious! I swear, those little guys will try anything to get a nut.

But that's not the only thing that's nutty. Have you ever seen a dog chase its own tail? Talk about a never-ending cycle.

And let's not forget about cats. Have you ever seen a cat try to fit into a box that's way too small for it? It's like they think they're the most flexible animals in the world.

But the real kicker? Have you ever seen a human try to do a backflip? Talk about a face plant.

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Thanks for tuning in, and remember, laughter is the best medicine - unless you're allergic to peanuts. In that case, maybe just stick to a shot of whiskey.

Write a blurb for an Edinburgh Fringe comedy show about mental health

Come to our Edinburgh Fringe comedy show and experience the hilarity of mental health! Join us as we tackle the taboo topic of mental illness and show you that laughter is the best medicine. With a diverse lineup of comedians, each with their own unique perspective on mental health, you're sure to be entertained and educated. Don't miss out on this one-of-a-kind comedy experience!

Write a blurb for an Edinburgh Fringe sketch comedy show with four Oxbridge graduates

Get ready to laugh your socks off at our Edinburgh Fringe sketch comedy show! Four Oxbridge graduates come together to bring you a hilarious night of sketches that will have you rolling in the aisles. With their quick wit and clever writing, these talented comedians will take you on a roller coaster of laughs. Don't miss out on this highly anticipated show!

Write a review of Peter Kay

I recently had the pleasure of seeing Peter Kay live in concert and it was absolutely fantastic! His sharp wit and clever jokes had the entire audience in fits of laughter from start to finish. His impeccable timing and physical comedy had us all in awe. It was clear to see why he is one of the UK's most beloved comedians. I would highly recommend catching him live if you have the chance – you won't be disappointed!

Write a review of Roy Chubby Brown

I recently had the misfortune of attending a performance by Roy Chubby Brown and it was one of the worst live shows I've ever seen. His jokes were crude and offensive, and his attempts at humor fell flat. His offensive language and outrageous behavior was shocking and not in a good way. I would not recommend this show to anyone. Save your money and time and go see a different comedian.

Write an article about how wokeness is ruining comedy when it should be a bastion of free speech

Wokeness is ruining comedy. For many, comedy has always been seen as a bastion of free speech, a place where people could go to escape from the serious issues of the world and just laugh at the absurdity of it all. However, in recent years, a new trend has emerged in comedy: wokeness.

Wokeness, for those who may not be familiar with the term, is a social and political movement that is focused on promoting social justice, equality, and inclusiveness. While these are all noble goals, the problem with wokeness is that it has begun to seep into comedy, stifling free speech and ruining the ability of comedians to make jokes and provide their audience with much-needed levity.

One of the biggest problems with wokeness in comedy is that it has created a culture of censorship. In the past, comedians were able to make jokes about any topic, no matter how controversial. However, with the rise of wokeness, many comedians are now afraid to make jokes about certain topics, for fear of being labeled as "insensitive" or "offensive". This has led to a situation where comedians are forced to self-censor their material, which has a negative impact on their ability to be funny.

Another issue with wokeness in comedy is that it has led to a lack of diversity in the comedy world. With the rise of wokeness, many comedians have begun to feel pressure to conform to a certain set of social and political beliefs. This has led to a situation where a small group of "woke" comedians are dominating the comedy scene, while others who may not share their beliefs are pushed to the sidelines. This lack of diversity has had a negative impact on comedy, as it has reduced the variety of voices and perspectives that are represented in the field.

Ultimately, the problem with wokeness in comedy is that it is antithetical to the very nature of comedy itself. Comedy is supposed to be a place where people can go to escape from the serious issues of the world and just laugh at the absurdity of it all. By trying to impose a set of social and political beliefs on comedians, wokeness is ruining this important outlet for free speech and expression.

In order to save comedy from the clutches of wokeness, we need to allow comedians to be free to make jokes about any topic, without fear of being labeled as "insensitive" or "offensive". We need to embrace diversity in the comedy world, and allow a wide range of voices and perspectives to be heard. Only then can we hope to restore comedy to its rightful place as a bastion of free speech and a source of much-needed levity in these trying times.

Write an article about how some comedians set themselves up as free-speech campaigners when all they really want is the right to tell hateful jokes

Some comedians have begun to position themselves as free speech campaigners, arguing that they should be able to make jokes about any topic, no matter how controversial. However, a closer look at their material reveals that what many of these comedians really want is the right to tell hateful jokes without facing any consequences.

These so-called free speech campaigners often point to the fact that comedy is supposed to be a bastion of free speech, a place where people can go to escape from the serious issues of the world and just laugh at the absurdity of it all. However, the reality is that many of these comedians are using the guise of free speech to defend their right to make hateful jokes.

For example, some of these comedians will claim that they are just "punching up" at powerful institutions or individuals, when in reality they are using hateful language and stereotypes to attack vulnerable communities. Others will argue that they are pushing the boundaries of comedy, when in reality they are just using offensive material that has no place in a civilized society.

The problem with these comedians is that they are not really interested in free speech. Instead, they are using the language of free speech to defend their right to tell hateful jokes without facing any consequences. This is a dangerous precedent to set, as it gives license to other individuals and groups to make similarly hateful comments without facing any repercussions.

In order to combat this trend, it is important for society to reject the notion that hateful jokes are acceptable, no matter how they are framed. We need to hold comedians accountable for the material they produce, and make it clear that hateful jokes have no place in comedy. Only by doing this can we hope to create a comedy scene that is truly inclusive and free from hate.

Published: 12 Dec 2022