Edinburgh Fringe comedians answer

Every day until the end of the Fringe, we're asking one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions from the RHLSTP podcast to comedians. Here's today's batch of insights... RHLSTP is also at the Assembly Rooms at 13:00 from until August 14. Tickets.

While someone was heckling me he took a big bite of pizza and then put his hand up instructing me to wait until he had finished chewing to finish his heckle.  Patrick Spicer whose show Who’s This All of a Sudden is on at Gilded Balloon at 6:20pm

The Covid queue master, Tesco Partick. Wee wank kept telling me to follow the one way system. Think he thought my white stick was a prop.  Jamie MacDonald whose show Reasonably Adjusted is on at Guilded Balloon at 7:45pm

Ann, Ann is a human Dementor. I hope you never meet her. I wish I could have my soul back. (This is a real woman she knows who she is. Hi, Ann, you’re the worst.) Ellie MacPherson whose show Happy Birthday, Mr. President! is on at Underbelly Cowgate at 9:30pm

The wife of a famous FAMOUS musician. That musician was in a band named after an insect.  Tom DeTrinis whose show I Hate New York is on at Assembly at 6:20pm

The guy at Taco Bell last week who forgot the sauce on my quesadilla Jake Cornell whose show Man & Woman is on at Assembly at 6:15pm

The girl in the mirror… what a witch...  Emily Wilson whose show Emily Wilson: Fixed is on at Pleasance Courtyard at 10:25pm

Probably one of the comedians that turned out to be a nonce.  Tom Little whose show Tom Little Has Good Reviews So Prepare to Be Impressed is on at Subway at 3:45pm

My youngest son when he was two.  Jon Courtenay whose show Against The Odds is on at Gilded Balloon at 6:30pm

Harold Shipman. He's had my balls in his hands. Justin Moorhouse whose show Stretch & Think is on at Gilded Balloon at 7:30pm

I once met a drama teacher who I genuinely believed was evil. He sat like a shrivelled imp, smoking, and telling young people how terrible they were, trying to destroy them all. I can't stand gurus of any kind. Especially in drama/improv. The worst. Worst. Adam Meggido whose show Starship Improvise is on at Pleasance King Dome at 3:00pm

My former line manager's line manager's line manager. I had to have a meeting with him once because he was cutting an amazing student programme and we had organised a petition to try and keep it. I have never been more convinced that someone has bodies in their backyard. I got into the room and my whole body switched into danger alert mode. He was incredibly manipulative and kept twisting everything we were saying and when we tried to defend ourselves he would erupt, shout at everyone and then immediately switch back to normal conversation like nothing had happened.  Cerys Bradley whose show Sportsperson is on at Gilded Balloon at 4:40pm

Lorne Mich— Nothing. No one. Nevermind.  Brian McElhaney whose show BriTANicK is on at Assembly at 7:45pm

I met the man who designed the new duty free area in Stansted Airport.  Garrett Millerick whose show Just Trying to Help  is on at Monkey Barrel at 11:25pm

Michael Gove, when he was environment minister. I was working for a plastics charity and saw him going into a Pret. The man most responsible for the destruction of the natural world! I followed him in, hoping to get a scoop on him buying plastic. He bought the only thing in cardboard. Not wanting to waste the opportunity, I went up and said "well done on not buying plastic, minister!". He thanked me. After congratulating him, I left, realising I achieved the exact opposite of what I'd set out to.  Christian Brighty whose show Christian Brighty: Playboy is on at Pleasance Courtyard at 9:40pm

I don't really believe in evil as a concept but I once went on a date with a military chap who fervently believed in world domination by the British Empire. It was a short date. Lucy Frederick whose show Lucy Frederick's Big Fat Wedding is on at Gilded Balloon Patterhoose at 3:40pm

Kevin Spacey your honour! Brennan Reece whose show Crowded is on at Pleasance Courtyard at 8:20pm

I once stopped crossing the road to give way to a cycling Boris Johnson. I should have dived in front of him to sacrifice myself for the sake of humanity. David Ephgrave whose show Good Grief - Edinburgh Fringe 2022 at Chortle.co.uk">David Ephgrave: Good Grief is on at Just the Tonic at the Caves at 2:40pm

I met a guy who voted for Trump... yikes. Rebecca Kaplan whose show Arielle Dundas and Rebecca Kaplan: Parfait is on at Laughing Horse @ City Cafe at 12:05am

Every single person who doesn't pet my dog or tell him he's a good boy when we're on a walk. Monsters. Lauren Pattison whose show It Is What It Is is on at Monkey Barrel at 12:30pm

Amanda Holden. Told me on Britains's Got Talent to 'not give up my day job'. Which I found ironic given that I'm not too sure what she actually does.  Iain MacDonald whose show Pundemic is on at Three Sisters at 10:45am

A guy on an empty train in 2013. I sensed a pure  evil man. Thats how I alighted at Yarm. Tony Law  whose show Tony Law A Now Begin in Again is on at Monkey Barrel  at 12:00am

The gremlin inside my head. Anna Clifford  whose show I See Dead(ly) People is on at Gilden Balloon  at 9:00pm

A vile comic by the name of [REDACTED] may he continue to fail and follow the fate of many before him and do the transition from bad comedian to full time promoter. Erika Ehler whose show Femcel is on at Monkey Barrel  at 9:40pm

Published: 10 Aug 2022