Comedians recall their peculiar donations

A guy gave me a packet of bolts once. I'm not sure he knew what was going on really. He came alone, laughed hysterically during the sad bit of the show and called me Billy as he left.
Adam Hess: Cactus, Heroes @ The Hive, 18:00

Two ecstasy pills, both were excellent
Danny O'Brien: RaconTour, Underbelly Cowgate, 22:20

Potato
John Hastings: Audacity, Pleasance Courtyard, 21:15

A dead mouse! I don't know if we'd had a cat in the audience (or perhaps several cats on each others' shoulders under a trenchcoat), if someone had been carrying a mouse around with them looking for somewhere to jettison it, or if they found it in the venue. Luckily, dead mice are acceptable currency in Scotland.
Leo Kearse, I Can Make You Tory, Free Sisters, 19:30

A badge that said: ‘Dolphins are smug.’ I wore it every day for the rest of the festival hoping to find the person who gave it to me. It was my red carnation.
Chris Betts: Bewilderbeest, Pleasance Courtyard, 21:45

A hearing aid battery. It basically says 'I would rather be full deaf than hear the words you speak.'
Jenny Collier: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Jen, Espionage, 17:00

Somebody after a show gave me a Lego figure they'd had made of me. With red hair, denim skirt and microphone. I bloody love it.
Angela Barnes: Fortitude, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

My sister was tutoring the kid of a hedge fund manager. He came all the way to my show from London and put a Lucozade in my bucket.
Damien Slash: Demographic, Just The Tonic @ The Caves, 21:20

Six cherry tomatoes still on the vine
Olaf Falafel presents The Marmosets Of My Mind, The City Cafe, 16:15

A little square a man had knitted during the performance. He clearly hadn't been paying much attention if he was doing arts and crafts throughout the show. I'm hoping he comes every year and I can eventually patch them together into a quilt.
Ian Smith - Snowflake, Underbelly Med Quad, 17:15

It seems this might be a thing…

A hand-knitted "friendship" square for each of the acts, from a man who knitted throughout the show.
Jane Hill:Cow, Laughing Horse @ The Counting House, 13:05

Last year I did a show about how I had to be circumcised. After the show someone gave me a little crocheted 'willy warmer'. I didn't really know what to say, so I just asked them if it'd already been used.
Dave Chawner: C’est La Vegan, The Counting House, 19:00

A masticated marshmallow
We Are Not Afraid, Just The Tonic At The Caves, 18:45

A pink, polka-dotted, artificial fingernail.
Peter Michael Marino: Show Up, The Counting House, 15:30

A business card from a guy who genuinely wanted to offer me a free gliding lesson. Simple as that! My show last year was character comedy and storytelling about flying, and he's the only gliding instructor in that part of Scotland. I haven't had the chance to take him up on it, but I thought it was such a delightful offer.
Rhiannon Vivian's Office Meltdown, The Counting House Loft, 22:15

A condom
Just about everyone

We went to Prague in May and after one of the shows this girl baked Viggo a cake and wrote him a really lovely note. We didn't know what to do because normally it's best not to eat food from the audience for a variety of reasons. But we're broke and hungry so we shovelled it down that night. Also think it's imperative to know that the same girl saw Zach's show and did not bake him a cake.
Zach & Viggo: Dream Team , Underbelly Cowgate, 21:30

A tiny wooden clog
Joe Wells: I Hope I Die Before I Start Voting Conservative, Sneaky Pete’s, 12:05

I once found my mum's hairbrush. (Bucket = asshole right?)
David Trent: Here's Your Future, Just The Tonic @ The Caves, 22:35

Published: 19 Aug 2017