Dawn French reveals the truth behind her shock decision

Dawn French has revealed that she stopped making comedy sketches with Jennifer Saunders because she became upset that her looks had become the punchline.

The comic said she privately burst into tears after filming one scene which made her feel ‘ugly’, and soon after told her long-term comedy partner she no longer wanted to make the BBC series.

‘To this day I don’t really know what happened,’ she says of the decision she made in 2004.

It came after filming a sketch set in a toilet stall in the BBC building, in which she  describes a fantasy in which pop star Anastacia hears her sing and invites her on to Top of the Pops with her. The conversation – and French’s singing – is overheard by the singer, who makes the dream come true.

Writing in her soon-to-be published memoirs The Twat Files, the 65-year-old says: ‘To this day I don’t really know what happened

‘I’d genuinely never felt so ugly. I’d often voluntarily, happily been "ugly" for hundreds of sketches. I’ve never minded what something looks like, as long as it’s servicing the joke right.

‘The mirror was clearly telling me why this was so painfully abhorrent. Because the joke was on me.’

After filming, she walked calmly out of the studio, climbed into her car and ‘burst into hot, angry tears. I properly sobbed all the 28 miles home.’

She them called a bewildered Saunders and called off the show.

During a major interview in the Sunday Times today, French is asked if her partner tried to dissuade her from quitting.

‘Jennifer would never fight me on something so big,’ she replies. ‘She does say now, "What the fuck were you thinking? We could have sorted that easily." But it wasn’t a problem.’

In retrospect she says the sketch ‘wasn’t so bad, but it wasn’t what I wanted. It felt out of control and I felt humiliated. It tipped me over.’

The comic added that other people jibes about her size has always ranked, explaining: ‘For many years Jennifer  and I were always described by how we looked, especially me, because I was the bigger one. It was always about "running to fat" or "plump", and they never said that about any of the male comedians.

‘I absolutely own whatever my size is and I will call myself whatever I want. But if I feel like the intent is to shame me, I will not have it.’

Asked elsewhere in the interview whether she thought comedy  attracts men with an ‘aggressive kind of male entitlement?’ she replied:  ‘Well, certainly the men in the Comic Strip were the opposite of that.’

That troupe comprised her and Saunders, Rik Mayall, Adrian Edmondson, Peter Richardson, Nigel Planer, Alexei Sayle and Arnold Brown.

She also spoke about the racism she witnessed during her marriage to Lenny Henry.

‘There were performers — older ones usually — who in rooms at the BBC felt completely free to call Len "Boy", crack racist jokes and then hug him as if to say, "You’re not like that". Like they were teaching him a little lesson’ she recalls.

‘Insidious racism that was everywhere, not just in the industry. And also big racism, with people leaving shit on our doorstep. It was absolutely there all the time.’

Published: 8 Oct 2023