No more air hostesses for me...

The week's comedy trivia

  • Dave Spikey: ‘Ducks fascinate me.’

  • Russell Brand is preparing to ditch his trademark ‘long daft hair’ – if it means he could get more acting work. He said: ‘I expect I will finally get my hair cut because I am doing films now and it can't always be, “Napoleon entered, he has got real long daft hair”. It's going to be restrictive. So eventually I am going to have to play someone who has not got stupid hair and that day will henceforth be known as “haircut day” for me.'

  • Meanwhile, he says he’s sticking to his New Year’s resolution – to stop getting off with air hostesses. He said: ‘I’ve been very lucky to have enjoyed some mile-high naughtiness. But it’s always disappointing if I pull one and she turns up at the hotel in a frumpy tracksuit. It really kills the fantasy of their sexy uniform and position of authority on the plane.’

  • Stand-up Paul Sinha is auditioning for Mastermind with specialist subjects: the life of Ferdinand Magellan and the history of the FA Cup between 1970 and 2007.

  • Jo Brand’s fashion has made the news; after a she was spotted in the dry cleaners in Dulwich, South London. Instead of the expected shapeless garments, her neighbour was surprised to see her hand over ‘the vampiest, tiniest black evening skirt, shocking pink sweater and boudoir-friendly scarf’.

  • When Jocelyn Jee Esien met the Queen, her nervous laugh got so vigorous that her belt popped off and fell on the floor.

  • A press release reaches us from the company that did the sound for Bill Bailey’s Tinselworm arena tour. Just so as you know: ‘The tour was carrying 28 GEO T cabinets, with 18 NEXO Alpha subs. Flown adjacent to the main left/right GEO T arrays were outhangs each comprising 12 GEO S1210 and 4x S1230 cabinets. Down the hall was a five-point GEO S8 delay system, using a total of 28 GEO S830 and seven GEO S805 boxes to give coverage to the bleachers and the rear of the hall. Eight PS8 cabinets were used as frontfill. The system was powered by Camco Vortex amplifiers, managed by NEXO’s NX242 TD controllers.’ And you thought it was one bloke, one mic. Or one bloke, one ‘DPA 4088 cardioid headset mic’.

  • Ricky Gervais was in bed in his pyjamas when her found out Extras won its Golden Globe. Rock and roll!

  • German Klaus-Jurgen "Knacki" Deuser was so frustrated at the lack of stand-up clubs in his homeland that he set one up in the only location he could find – a 24-hour Laundromat.

  • Clay Aiken, the 29-year-old American Idol runner-up who joined the cast of Monty Python's Spamalot on Broadway this week, has admitted he was no fan of the show. ‘The first time I saw it I thought it was the stupidest thing I'd ever seen in my entire life,’ he said. ‘I thought Monty Python was a person until three months ago.

  • Namesakes corner: Jason Byrne is a glitzy cruise ship magician, Mark Watson is a Princeton economics professor and Harry Hill is a US naval destroyer, decommissioned in 1998 and sunk in target practice in 2004.

  • Johnny Depp reckons Sacha Baron Cohen is the next Peter Sellers. Meanwhile, the Hollywood star has also announced his desire to do a comedy with his musical hero, Barry Manilow. A ‘Barry On’ film, as he calls it.

SOURCES: Independent On Sunday, Loaded, The Sun, Manchester Evening News, Independent, The Independent, Nexo Geo, PR-Inside.com, Hollywood Reporter Newsweek, The Sun/Newsnight

Published: 18 Jan 2008

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