If a child born today is healthy, well-armed, skilled in hand-to-hand combat, a member of the ‘Conan the Barbarian Fan Club' and has committed every episode of Bush Tucker Man to memory, then that child may live to old age.

If we don't reduce global greenhouse emissions by 80% by 2015 it's all over.

It will be survival of the fittest and "who needs comedians anyway?" Gnaw. Gnaw. Chomp. Chomp.

But Rod will beat them to it. Night by night, bit by bit during the Comedy Festival he will literally eat himself! While he builds an Ark!

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