7. Ten descriptions that really put us off...

Edinburgh 10x10

The shows may be excellent… or they may not. But these are where the copy-writing skills let them down. Productions get just 40 words to sell themselves in the brochure, but these are the Fringe entries that made a cold shiver run down our spine…

1. Cheap Laughs (Are Better Than No Laughs).

‘A hour of stand-up and comedy songs. Keeping it Old Skool. Starring Eric Gudmunsen as Roy “Chubby” Manning.’ Oh my good lord. The show also promises (threatens?) to be ‘non-PC’ – as if you needed warning. Come laugh at those who are different to you! Laughing Horse @ Captain Taylor’s Coffee House. 22:30

2. Sex Ed: The Musical!

If the title wasn’t enough, get a load of this: ‘Ever wondered what a prostatic utricle was? A urethral sponge? A scrotum?’ Hmmm, no. No I haven’t TheSpace@Surgeon’s Hall 18:30

3. Brides Of Comedy

‘Fresh from touring with Paddy McGuinness...’ C Aquila 19:45

3 (a) Brides Of Comedy

Actually, if that wasn’t enough they’ve got a quote from Mr McGuinness himself: ‘They make me piss my sides.’ What does that even mean? You surely piss yourself, or split your sides. If you piss your sides, you have a medical problem that needs fairly urgent attention and you shouldn’t be dilly-dallying giving quotes for Fringe shows. C Aquila 19:45

4. Povs and Hefter Uncensored

‘Povs and Hefter Uncensored will make you wet your pants’ Stop it with the incontinence, female sketch duos. Who wants to walk around Edinburgh with pissy pants? Laughing Horse & The Free Sisters 20:00

5. Funny Women On The Fringe

‘With complimentary gifts courtesy of Benefit Cosmetics and the Benebabes on hand daily at the fabulous Benebus, a bespoke mobile beauty salon, what's not to like?’ What is this, a show description or a cosmetics advert? The only major competition that charges comedians to take part is unlikely to be winning any Spirit of the Fringe awards with its shamelessly corporate sales blurb. Assembly George Square 14:00 3 to 17 only

6. Convicted

It’s not so much the blurb for this Australian four-hander as the image they used in the programme. We’re not entirely sure that a group that uses the 2011 Free Fringe logo as their 2012 artwork is quite on the ball enough to write jokes... Cabaret Voltaire, 14:35

7. DeadBadgers Sketchy Bits

This one speaks for itself: ‘Funnier than a gerbil with a deerstalker, harder than Van Dam’s nips, more flesh than a gypsy wedding, sexier than a panda in a onesie, two nut-jobs, one badger. This Fringe… never leave a badger behind!’ They carry TB, don’t you know. Laughing Horse @ The Newsroom 00:00

8. Passion Pints And Potatoes

‘Two Irish country bumpkins from the land of priests and potatoes…’ Can you be racist about your own country? Christane O’Mahoney and Steve Bennett (not the editor of Chortle, we are VERY keen to point out) are certainly peddling tired cliches in their blurb, so who knows what the show holds? Dropkick Murphy’s 17:00

9. Birmingham Footnotes Drop Their Trousers

Not even the blurb. Just this student revue’s title is enough to instill despair. Base Nightclub 14:30

10. A Coach Load Of Lesley

‘Climb aboard Lesley's chemical toilet equipped Megabus to London!’ Well, you make it seem so attractive... The Voodoo Rooms, 13:30

Published: 26 Jul 2012

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