Matt Price takes issue with 'have-a-go' hacks

Of all the comedy cliches that exist, I never thought that journalists having a go at ‘a bit of stand-up’ would be one. If I, as a comic were to publicly deride journalism and say how easy it is to write articles that are really similar to the work of others, I would be more unpopular than a hack comic.

There have been many of these articles in recent years and while I appreciate how hard it is to stand on stage for the first time, the second time is a lot harder. These articles rarely offer an insight into what we do and I find them patronising. Why don't the people writing the articles do stand up for a year, or talk about how badly it went, or at least do more than one gig? Why don't they describe the time they offended someone at a gig and there was nearly a fight afterwards? Or cried themselves to sleep with sheer disappointment.

They don't know what we got through week in, week out – the stress, how exhausting it is, the nastiness, the competitiveness and the ridiculous things that people say to us on stage and off. If you really want to write a good article, travel with a comic for a week in cars in the early hours of the morning and do open spots every night. Listen to the banter and the gossip. Hang out with comics after a gig and watch the way they react to each other when they die and how the punters react.

Listen to newer comics talking about their careers and how they are going to be on the telly within a few years. Hear them talk about the journeymen and women who make the circuit what it is. Then go back and speak to the same floppy haired prodigy a few years later when things haven't quite gone their way and they aren't hosting a telly programme because they don't have the right look and thirty is considered a bit too old.

Try being dropped off at 2am, waiting for a night bus, getting home at 3.30 and then having to do a casting for an advert you almost certainly won't get the following morning. Then try going from the impersonal environment of a casting room to meet the person driving to that night's gig having had little sleep. Repeat this process five nights a week and then crash out for 24 hours, wondering where your days off went and why your bones ache with tiredness.

We do comedy because we love it and I don't like my profession being belittled, which is why I'm not knocking journalists, but articles of this nature.

I'm throwing out a challenge to any journalists out there. Write a proper article about stand-up and the lifestyle that we have chosen. I'll help you and offer you an insight into the ‘new rock n roll’ that will blow your mind.

You'll know if you've got it right because everyone in the industry will be talking about it and you. Alternatively, you could just settle for stating the obvious, in a slightly sneering tone, throw in a few cliches about how much superstar comics earn and get paid more for a hack article than most comics get for a gig in the first five years.

Published: 17 Feb 2012