Tom Ward

Tom Ward

Named best newcomer at the 2017 Chortle Awards, Tom Ward was previously a finalist in the BBC Radio New Comedy Awards in 2014. He also made the finals of the NATYs, the Leicester Square New Comedian of 2013 and Brighton's Squawker Awards. He appeared on Lice At The Apollo in 2021.
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'Why the hell is that wanker on a poster?'

Tom Ward on the best and worst of Edinburgh Fringe

Tom Ward recalls his most embarrassing Edinburgh experience; what he can't get enough of at the festival; and the worst thing about the Fringe. Apart from the cost of accommodation, obviously...


Fringe cringe

In 2016, I decided to stay with a single mum and her two small kids. Clever. Debut year, what could go wrong?

We clashed on day one when I used her blender but didn’t put the lid on properly so it sprayed all up the wall. I cleaned the wall but she said the blender didn't seem itself after that so I bought her a new one. We were doomed.

We clashed at every turn - I’d do yoga in my room and take the mirror down so I could do a handstand but when I’d get back from doing a wee it would back on the wall because she was terrified of broken mirrors in her house.

I’d collect plastic and paper in my room to take to the recycling – she’d see them and complain about the ‘rubbish’ in my room. 10 days in, things were so tense that even her small kids were spelling out ‘cunt’ in alphabet spaghetti. I moved out.

She gave me the old blender as a parting gift and kept my rent money as a gift to herself. Then she left an A4 sized review on Airbnb about how I was the worst guest she’d ever had and how embarrassed she was by me wearing a Sainsbury’s plastic bag as a hat umbrella when I left the house.

I had to close my Airbnb account and start a new one like a shit A-Team.

Fringe binge

I really like the morning after day 3’s show, when I’m feeling like, ‘Ah yeah, OK I think I know what the show is now…yeah, feeling good!’ So I’d like more morning after day 3’s please. Just before the first reviews come in…

Fringe whinge

I really hate having to see everyone’s fucking faces on posters everywhere. It messes with my specialness complex.

‘Hang on, I’m the only comedian that should have a poster, why the hell is that wanker on a poster? And how the fuck did they get 5 stars from somewhere? Is this place a different currency? Do stars just fall from the fucking sky and land on the promotional materials of wankers?’

• Tom Ward: Anthem is on at Monkey Barrel Comedy Club at 10.25pm

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Published: 8 Aug 2022

Past Shows

Edinburgh Fringe 2014

Bridge Over Toddled Warder


Edinburgh Fringe 2015

Ward-Winning Storey


Edinburgh Fringe 2017

Tom Ward: Love Machine


Edinburgh Fringe 2018

Tom Ward: Popcorn Lung


Edinburgh Fringe 2022

Tom Ward: Anthem


Agent

We do not currently hold contact details for Tom Ward's agent. If you are a comic or agent wanting your details to appear here, for a one-off fee of £59, email steve@chortle.co.uk.

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