...and she hopes to die under the knife, like Joan Rivers

Katherine Ryan has said she might not attend her parents’ funeral because she ‘doesn’t really believe in the concept’ of the ceremony.

Speaking hypothetically, the Canadian comic said: ‘I don't know if I would even attend my own parents’ funeral. 

‘And isn't that awful because everyone will go,"Katherine Ryan didn't even fly home for her dad's funeral." But why would I do that? Just to hang out with all his golf buddies? My dad's not there.’

And she said she didn’t want a funeral for herself  ‘ because I'll be dead and people might put on some really shit funeral for me’.

Her comments came on Kathy Burke’s podcast, Where There’s A Will There’s A Wake today, where she explained: ‘I don't really believe in the concept of a funeral, because the dead person isn't there. 

‘This is this weird way that we attach people to their bodies. And so maybe their body is there, but they're certainly gone. ‘

She also hoped she would ‘die glamorously, under the knife’, like  Joan Rivers, below.

Her comic heroine died in 2014, at the age of 81, when she stopped breathing during a elective procedure to examine her throat, although many people – including Ryan, apparently – wrongly believe it was a cosmetic procedure. A subsequent investigation discovered a number of failings at the New York clinic which was treating her.

Ryan said she was going to ‘repeat the same mistake’ Rivers made, adding: ‘I just think she died doing what she loved. 

‘I haven't had anywhere near as much plastic surgery as I joke about. It's like Jimmy Carr started joking that I had plastic surgery and then I would just go along with it. It was funny.

‘ But, realistically, I'm 40 now. As I get older, why not have a facelift at some point? I think I would like it. My boobs probably need redoing. I'd like to get liposuction because they have this science now where they can take any fat from your body and use it to put it back. So, they put it in your bum or they put it in your face.

‘But I was learning that a footballer's wife [Colin Hendry's wife Denise] sadly died doing that  because the doctor didn't know what he was doing, and he punctured her bowel like nine times.’

‘So, I hear stories like this, and I think I'm just stupid enough to go and do it anyway. I think it's tricky to know. You think you do all your research, and you know who's above the board, but anyone can have a bad day.  ‘

Ryan also spoke about her friendship with the ‘very excellent’ Carr and how he was ‘a really nice man’ who was good at comedy roasts.

She said: ‘It's like roasting to me is a clear demonstration of consent. It's like everyone who's here opted into this, likes it, wants it, thinks it's funny, understands that it's not real.

‘You see sometimes these comedians who are going up and down the stage, like a really nice family man. And then you hear that they've been rude to a runner or they're actually not a nice person or they're not generous.

‘I think more often than not, the comedians who can be really filthy on stage… those who have nothing to hide, hide nothing. You know, they're like, "I’m being like this because it's a joke. And in my real life, I'm kind and generous but these are jokes. And I don't care if you think I'm an asshole, because I know that I'm not".

‘You'd never go up to a 16 year old at a bus stop and say something horrible. And you wouldn't just surprise someone with a roast, because there's no consent there. 

‘But, Jimmy's great at it, because he understands the maths of it. Disappointingly, the girls don't love it very much. I don't think Sara Pascoe or Aisling [Bea] don’t really love a roast.’

• Where There's A Will, There's A Wake is available on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.

Published: 17 Oct 2023