'Give me a seven-second delay and I will use it...' | Tweets and quote of the week

'Give me a seven-second delay and I will use it...'

Tweets and quote of the week

Quote of the week

'I live for live. Give me a seven-second delay and I will use it, you blistering cock-faced fuck-trumpets.' Sue Perkins at the Baftas. The line, as exepected, didn't make it to broadcast.

Tweets of the week

And as former Fox News boss Roger Ailes dies:

Published: 19 May 2017

What do you think?

Live comedy picks

Now on NextUp Sponsored

TOM WARD

Tom celebrates life for all its sexy little touches, spinning tales of unsung heroes including cheap kettles, friendly perverts and Tupperware. WATCH HERE

JORDAN BROOKES

The 2017 Edinburgh Comedy Award nominee takes us on an absurd and twisting journey through his inner psyche. WATCH HERE

We see you are using AdBlocker software. Chortle relies on advertisers to fund this website so it’s free for you, so we would ask that you disable it for this site. Our ads are non-intrusive and relevant. Help keep Chortle viable.