Ten things about the Fringe that will be different in 10 years' time

Keith Farnan gets out his crystal ball

1: Advertising has ceased to exist as algorithms decide what you see when you scan your wrist code at the Fringe Limits. Access to this algorithm will be decided on a fair and equal basis. Hahahahahahaha.

2: All shows are free. Except for the Payout fringe which offers cash prizes for audience members.

3: 18 per cent of shows will have corporate sponsorship where the shows are written to showcase a particular product or brand, led by Googlebook, winner of the Facebook/Google war of 2021.

4: 82 per cent of comedians are officially below the poverty line for the month of August after having taken out a loan from Googlebook Bank (so nothing has changed there)

5. A complex equation will prove that ticket sales have increased despite all shows being free.

6. Nanocritics now scuttle through each and every show guaranteeing that every performance is reviewed on a fair and equal basis both in comparison to other shows at the Fringe and every show in history that has been programmed into the nano critic program so that performers may enjoy accurate comparisons not just to contemporaries but also to long-dead and oft obscure performers.

7. Three star reviews that read like four are punishable by death or deactivation.

8. Everyone stays in a tent. Some of the more successful acts glamp. No one actually stays in a house or a flat. Except promoters.

9. The Fringe lasts 11 months.

10. Scientific study of performers at the festival has led to medical breakthroughs leading pharmaceutical companies to offer various experimental treatments to acts, which forms the basis of several one man shows, some of which have their run regrettably cut short.