Playing to 700 eager punters Phil Nichol commenced his undeniably ‘exhilarating’ show. Few were prepared for his ‘in-your-face’ performance which quite literally involved his groin being thrust into the face of one unfortunate female audience member for far longer than necessary. Nor were they prepared for his frequent screaming into the microphone at points most comedians use punchlines, nor for the self-indulgent, self-penned heavy-rock number he performed complete with backing band. It quickly became clear the laughs were going to be far and few between and that £12.50 had been badly spent. People began to leave, which takes some bravery when the only way out takes you right down to the front of the stage. A group of six stood up in front of us and casually strolled down the steps and passed the stage. This did not go unnoticed and Nichol questioned in self-doubt as to whether people were leaving in large numbers beyond the glare of the stage lights. The muted response said it all. He continued on regardless, only to be interrupted by a guy wandering aimlessly onto the stage looking for an escape route. He didn’t find one, so ended up spending the next five minutes centre stage, with Nichol challenging him to be funnier, but rarely giving him the microphone to be so.Then the audience took sides, hardcore fans wanting the guy to get off, the rest praying he’d tell Nichol he just wasn’t funny. As Nichol asked whether his jokes were funny enough, a female heckler answered him and unwittingly rescued Nichol from the awkward situation he was stuck in. Her reference in some way to Jerry Sadowitz clearly infuriated Nichol so much that he launched into an uncontrolled torrent of abuse directly into the woman’s face that lasted several minutes, was extremely offensive, and ultimately reduced him to nothing more than a bully. The brief interlude telling quick fire gags to prove he could do it, got more laughs than anything he had said before. As he returned to verbally abusing the woman he repeatedly demanded that she leave, throwing every possible insult at her. She stood her ground and in desperation he attempted to rally his supporters to stand up and demand along with him that she leave. This was the pinnacle of the audience divide as they swiftly fell into supporters and haters of Nichol. She still refused to leave, so with security removing the guy from the stage, he relented and told her she could stay if she kept quiet. Two more punters then walked across the stage throwing their torn up tickets at his feet in disgust. The remainder of the show consisted of even less jokes than had come before along with less clothes as Nichol stripped off to prance naked about the stage and perform another self-indulgent song with his also now naked band. It was undeniably a case of the emperor having no jokes than having no clothes.

Iain Wells, August 2007