WTF: Weekly Trivia File

• ‘Danny needs to understand he can’t be a comedian his whole life. If he can put his mind to it he could be a capable carpenter.’ That’s what a woodwork teacher wrote in Scottish stand-up Danny Bhoy’s report card when he was at school.

• It's normally an honour that goes to your best friend; but James Corden wants David Beckham to be his best man. 'Beckham would be awesome, and I think I'll be asking him,’ he said.

• Jenny Éclair said Neil Kinnock once saw her ‘front bottom’. ‘It wasn't his fault,’ she says. ‘He was a visiting dignitary at a newly opened hospital where I was having a little post-baby repair work done. They should never have shown him into that particular ward.

• Is this the real reason Lenny Henry got so heavily involved in Comic Relief? ‘Rock stars get groupies,’ he says. ‘Comedians get… well, charity workers.’

• Golf fans will already know this, but the Bob Hope classic has been won by one Johnny Vegas. Not our man, though, but a Venezuelan whose first name is spelt Jhonattan in full

• Matt Lucas’s Twitter page filled with bizarre posts on Monday night, leaving fans thinking he was drink-tweeting. However, the Little Britain star came back online later to say that he wasn’t drunk, but his account had been hacked. ‘Good morning all. Um, my Twitter account was hacked last night, so ignore any Tweets sent because they didn't come from me,’ he wrote. ‘Thanks for your accusations that I was drunk. I'm teetotal. The mistake I made was not logging out of my computer!’

• Benidorm comic Tony Scott is known for nicking cigarettes off his audience. So a group of Geordie taxi drivers set him up...
  

• Simon Pegg says he’s done with TV – in case it damages his movie career. The creator of Channel 4 ‘s Spaced said: ‘TV is amazing, but I don't think I'll go back to it. If you are on TV, why bother paying to see the same person at the cinema? The only time I'd go back to TV would be when I'm older and do a Michael Palin-style travel documentary.’

• Sacha Baron Cohen has given Banksy one of his old Borat moustaches in an exchange for one of the street artist’s paintings. The Thomas the Tank Engine piece is said to be worth £100,000.

• Tweets of the week:
  Julius Nicholson (@trouteyes):The word on the street is STOP.
  Mr Wowser (@wowser):Nature is institutionally vacuumist.
  The Poke (@pokeHQ): The barman says, "We don't serve time travellers in here". A time traveller walks into a bar.

SOURCES: Adelaide Messenger, Mail On Sunday, The Sun, Chortle, ProGolfTalk, Twitter, YouTube, The Sun, The Sun, Twitter

Published: 4 Feb 2011