Jokes at Home Secretary's expense

Suella Braverman’s attempt to wangle herself a private speed awareness course comes under the spotlight on Have I Got News For You tonight.

 ‘I am very interested in this story because everyone says "it doesn't matter" and "so what, it was a speeding thing",’ Ian Hislop says. ‘But Braverman was Attorney General, the person who's in charge of the law… and she asked her civil servants if she could have a one-to-one speed awareness course, on the grounds that she’s extremely well known and it would be embarrassing.

‘ I have to say, I did a speed awareness course… and it was unbelievably embarrassing! It’s so you don’t do it again.’

  Comedian Nabil Abdulrashid joked: ‘I think we should appreciate Suella Braverman while she’s here. Yes she broke the law as a lawmaker, but I think lawmakers should be allowed to break the law. Every job has its perks!"

‘I think when a children's animation movie about the Tories comes out, she’ll make the perfect villain. We’ll call it 101 Allegations’.

Hislop countered: ‘That's fair enough but I think ‘allegations’ suggests she's not guilty, so it's 101 Damnations.’

Guest host Steph McGovern explained: ‘After being caught speeding, Suella Braverman has been fined and was given three points. When he became Prime Minister, Rishi Sunak insisted his government would be based on "integrity, professionalism and accountability". Three points Suella hasn’t got. 

Later in the episode, the panel turned their attention to the news that Phillip Schofield had left ITV’s daytime show This Morning.

Hislop said: ‘I found this story quite difficult to follow since I didn't know who they were…’ prompting Merton to add: ‘Or indeed that there was such a thing as daytime TV’

McGovern said: ‘I suppose it’s always going to be really difficult, isn't it? You know, when there's a bitter rift between a much-loved, long-running TV duo,’  glancing at the two regulars.

She joked: ‘Despite leaving ‘his Morning, Philip has stated that he will continue to present Dancing On Ice alongside Holly Willoughby, and they’ll save on the budget because the rink is going to be frozen just by the atmosphere between them."’

 Have I Got News For You continues on BBC One tonight at 9pm.  Carol Vorderman is the other panellist.

Published: 26 May 2023