If more stand-ups learned from Bernie Mac, maybe more than 10 per cent of them would be watchable

Geoffrey Asmus picks his comedy favourites

American comedian Geoffrey Asmus – currently performing at the Edinburgh Fringe – picks his Perfect Playlist of comedy favourites...

The Simpsons

The Simpsons is my favourite thing on Earth. At middle school sleepovers my friends and I would watch our Simpsons DVDs over and over and over. We rewound Ralph Wiggum explaining ‘Choo-Choo-Choose me’ hundreds of times with tears running down our faces.

I have so many group chats where all we have done for yearssss is send Simpsons clips back and forth. And the clips never repeat because the Simpsons have released more golden content than anyone.

The Simpsons is everything you want from a comedy because it operates on so many different levels. There are basic physical gags just for kids - Homer choking Bart, Barney belching, Hans Moleman getting hit with a football. Then there are entire episodes that parody a Tennessee Williams musical that few viewers have even read.

The jokes are smart, the word economy is tight and the characters are memorable, but the reason The Simpsons lingers in my brain is because of its deep heartwarming morality. In the end the Simpsons is about fighting all authority while realising that all we have is each other. Not baddddddd.

Ween

Ween are the most talented band of the last 40 years and it's not really particularly close. These bizarre Philadelphia virtuosos have written songs in every single genre (except for hip-hop, thankfully) and could have been mainstream superstars many times over. But instead of writing a radio single they wrote songs like Waving My Dick In The Wind, Bananas & Blow and Piss Up A Rope.

Over nine albums, Ween never did anything except exactly what they wanted to. Never gave in to any label pressure or changed even one note of their sound. In an industry that pressures you to be anything but yourself, Ween is a revelatory ray of light. The Boognish provides all the answers to life’s questions. Iykyk.

Bernie Mac: I Ain’t Scared of You Motherfuckers

The legend is that Bernie Mac came onstage after Martin Lawrence had just absolutely bombed for the rowdy Def Jam crowd. They were primed and ready to devour Bernie up just the same. But then Bernie comes out wearing pants emblazoned with his face and slowly wins the crowd back over six masterful minutes.

In this short set I learned all the important secrets of stand-up comedy – confidence always wins, have a simple hook, start with the simple sex jokes and then hit the serious topics once the crowd trusts you – and always wear pants emblazoned with your face.

If every comedian took notes from this set, maybe more than 10 per cent of stand-up comedy would be watchable.

This Joke From Austin Power 3: Goldmember

I think this joke from Austin Powers: Goldmember is my favourite joke. Which is miraculous because the third Austin Powers movie is otherwise an absolute travesty. Even as a 12-year-old I thought naming the two Asian women Fuk Mi and Fuk You was a little on the nose.

But somehow they convinced the legendary Michael Caine to play Austin Power’s father and deliver a perfect jokes amidst a sea of mediocrity. The joke is slightly offensive, absurd and surprising all in eight seconds.

The absolute stink that Michael Caine puts on ‘Dutch’ cannot be replicated.

I pray to God the rumours of a fourth Austin Powers movie are just that. Because they will never top this.

Rory Scovel

Rory Scovel should be selling out arenas. He’s deliriously funny. Every set seems completely brand new - often because it is. He riffs jokes more fine-tuned than what most of us comedians record on our specials. If you ever have a chance go watch him and you’ll be treated with an absurd delight in era where comedians take themselves so so seriously.

But that’s not to say that Rory doesn’t talk about social and political issues. He often does, and usually with more intelligence than the Philosopher Gods of Austin Texas. But it never feels preachy and sometimes I don’t even realise he was making a point until the joke is long over. Because Rory is a devout practitioner of the long lost art of subtlety.

One of the only comedians I would actually pay to see. Which is the highest compliment I can give.

The Onion

My dream, when I started comedy, was to write for The Onion and honestly it still is. The Onion is a completely fake news site that honestly says more about reality than the actual news.

I was lucky enough to go to college in Madison, Wisconsin, where The Onion was founded andI read every physical single issue during class, which dramatically lowered my GPA but certainly boosted my dopamine. I still remember the throwaway headline Vegan Beats Horse to Death With Pineapple. Truly brilliant word economy.

In an era where literacy comprehension is falling off a cliff, I love that The Onion never dumbs down its content. They might honestly produce the highest quality journalism in the world. If you enjoy history The Onion's book Our Dumb Century is perfect joke after perfect joke after perfect joke.

I had tears streaming down my face the first time I read it. They go through and write headlines for every year of the 20th century, like Japanese Ally With White Supremacists in Well-Thought Out Scheme. Most comedy now sells out to the lowest common denominator but The Onion dares us to use a couple of brain cells to get the joke. I love that.