I am such an arse...

Stephen Fry makes the Weekly Trivia File

  • Jack Dee: 'When you see a comedian on stage in jeans and a T-shirt it doesn't matter how good they are - it always looks like amateur hour when they walk on to the stage.'

  • Ricky Gervais is less keen on the appropriate dress. He was invited to the White House this week – and showed up in his pajamas. He blogged: ‘We had a convoy of black limos waiting. All my smart clothes were at the hotel dry cleaners. We couldn't be late and couldn't miss the opportunity. There was only one solution. I went in my pajamas. Absolutely true.’

  • Former Cheers star John Ratzenberger – aka Cliff Clavin – has filed for a restraining order against his ex-girlfriend, who he said made ‘harassing and intimidating phone calls, emails and text messages’. He reportedly told the LA County Superior Court that his former lover was capable of violence because she likes country music – saying she had ‘indicated that it is common in many country western songs for women to set the cars of their former boyfriends on fire. That statement insinuates that she may have the capacity to perpetuate this act or similar violent conduct.’

  • Big Brother producers are said to be lining up a Jimmy Carr lookalike to take part in this year’s series.

  • Stephen Fry said there were bigger issues than MP’s pay when confronted by a journalist this week – and instantly regretted it. ‘Oh, I'm such an arse. Why can't I keep my mouth shut?’ he Twittered. ‘Miserable all day at being portrayed as “the MPs’ friend”. As if. My own fault tho...’ Watch his comments here.

  • Jim Jeffries has had to change his name for his HBO special going out tomorrow night. Apparently, there’s already a Jim Jeffries in the States, she he’s added an extra E to be billed as ‘Jim Jefferies’ over there. Cartoonist Scott Bateman said he had a similar problem, saying: ‘I understand Jim's name dilemma. I had to add an “e” to my last name, because there's already apparently a Batman here in Gotham. Fucking crime-fighting bastard.’

  • Bad stand-up, the flashback edition:

  • David Walliams says he never turns down a party invite – ‘otherwise I just stay in and watch TV’.

  • The comics on tour with the Leicester Comedy Festival wound up in a pub after their gig in Stroud, Gloucestershire, this week, where they were entertained by a pub singer belting out all the classics… and, utterly unexpectedly, the old Corky And The Juice Pigs number The Only Gay Eskimo. Gobsmacked, they asked the busker to sing it again so they could leave it as a message on former Juice Pig Phil Nichol’s answerphone – and this time the whole pub joined in.

  • Russell Brand has pulled Hugh Hefner's ex, then kept Vegas hotel guests up with his noisy lovemaking. He reportedly snared Playboy Playmate Holly Madison last weekend, and one guest at the Venetian hotel said of their loud sex: ‘We're talking moans, screams, the whole he/shebang.’

  • Graham Norton: 'It scares me when you think Goldie Hawn probably has the best plastic surgeon in the whole world and she still looks like a fish that's being pushed through a keyhole.'

SOURCES: bbc.co.uk, RickyGervais.com, TMZ, Digital Spy, Twitter, The Comics’ Comic, YouTube, Metro, Chortle, E Online, Closer

Published: 15 May 2009

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