'I was interrupted by the screams of an angry chef' | The Big Ask: What is the worst venue in Edinburgh

'I was interrupted by the screams of an angry chef'

The Big Ask: What is the worst venue in Edinburgh

The Gothic Room at the Three Sisters (Free Sisters) in Cowgate at half past midnight: that was my venue in the first Fringe. There was a DJ set next to the room, the door was a simple curtain and I couldn't hear if the audience were laughing (couldn't even see them, because there were no lights). My heckler was the DJ with the songs he was playing. Luca Cupani: God Digger, Underbelly: George Square, 17:20

I once performed in the basement of Chiquito Mexican restaurant. Lowlights included the show being interrupted by the screams of an angry chef and the pervasive smell of fajitas when you can't afford to eat. Bryony Twydle: Flamingo, Underbelly Med Quad, 20:30

In 2014 I was supposed to do a two-hander, I had paid the registration fee to be in the brochure and in May my venue dropped out as did my comedy partner shortly after that. I was moved to a venue called Capital a shortlived nightclub. The upstairs was the venue and had a stripper's pole in the side of the stage. I went into the backstage to drop off my flyers and there I was greeted with a bucket with: 'For vomit cleaning only!' On the side. Struan Logan: Struan All Over the World, Laughing Horse @ Counting House, 18:05

In my first year, I performed on the top of a double decker bus. You could hear everything outside, including the movie UP that played at the same time each day. Kids would run around on the lower deck and scream. It was like working in a creche, for pocket change. Lolly Jones: Fifty Shades of May, Assembly Roxy, 20:50

The one in Three Sisters outside. One year it was a yurt and a piece of wood fell from it and gave an audience member a concussion… they have since changed it to a tent. But, there is so much bleed from outside noise on a weekend. It's brutal. Darren Harriott: Visceral, Pleasance Courtyard, 21:30

I don't think it's still a venue but the basement of the La Tasca in New Town - loud trumpet music and waiters shouting 'Patatas Bravas' Pierre Novellie, See Novellie, Hear Novellie, Speak Novellie, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

I performed in a church which had a cloth that had a vague impression of Jesus stained on it. Tough shroud. Darren Walsh: Massive Punt, Just The Tonic: Little Kirk, 18:00

The EICC. If you're playing the EICC you're a millionaire stealing from a food bank. Garrett Millerick: Sunflower, Just The Tonic at The Iron, 17:00

I don’t like it when a venue is just a tent in the middle of a beer garden - it feels like you’ve gone to a festival and camped in the wrong area. Ian Smith: Craft, Underbelly: Buttercup, 17:15

An empty one, or even worse, a room with one angry man, sat at the foot of the mic stand, clutching an Edinburgh Woollen Mill bag and sheltering from the rain. Scott Bennett: Leap Year, Just The Tonic At The Mash House, 17:55

A certain venue which will go unnamed has erected a gazebo outside of the Ibis hotel which it press-gangs companies into performing cabaret slots in as promotion for their shows. No words can express the absolute misery of this exercise, as you bellow whatever sad spectacle you have prepared for the benefit of apathetic alfresco-dining hotel guests who then dutifully move indoors to put a sheet of darkened glass between themselves and your efforts. That this is described online as a 'popular performance tent' is an insult to performance, popularity and tents. Luke Rollason's Planet Earth, Monkey Barrel Comedy Club, 14:34

The one that has a reviewer from Chortle in with a pen in his hand and a frown on their face. Russell Hicks: Love Song for the Viciously Ambitious, Laughing Horse @ The Free Sisters, 17:45

Published: 17 Aug 2018

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