What's your favourite kind of Asian?

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

What’s the point in having money if you can’t treat your friends and family? Brendan O’Carroll, who has made millions after retaining the rights to the Mrs Brown sitcom riding the crest of a wave, sprung for his 30-strong entourage to attend the Baftas last week. Nominees are given four guest tickets. Co-star Rory Cowan said: ‘It was unbelievable. Four tickets were supplied but 30 of us went. Brendan paid for all the tickets and the Landmark Hotel. Brendan wanted us there for it.’

Russell Brand has got himself some personalised number plates in Los Angeles reading LLB. Taking a leaf from LL Cool J’s book, the initials stand for Ladies Love Brand.

Lee Mack is hosting the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee Concert on Monday – but thinks it’s a terrible idea. ‘Comedians, including myself, Miranda Hart and Rob Brydon have foolishly agreed to link big names like Paul McCartney and Elton John by doing comedy,’ he said. ‘I’m genuinely terrified. Why would you do that in front of the Queen? And it’s worldwide. I go through the list of reasons in my head and there’s not one redeeming feature.’ He said he once did the Royal Variety Show and ‘there’s always that voice in the back of your head saying, “Don’t swear, don’t swear” – and that makes you want to swear.’

Keen Edinburgh-goers can’t have failed to notice the rivalry between the Free Fringe and the Free Festival over the past few years, so woe betide anyone who confuses the two. So something of a surprise, then, to see on the Free Festival’s website a show called Waterloo Comedy Club at the Free Fringe. Oops.

Which is more offensive? A show called ‘Eat a queer fetus for Jesus’, or a Chortle review describing The Humble Quest For Universal Genius as ‘the bastard son of QI and Shooting Stars’. Of course, it’s the second one... which attracted the asterixes of the Edinburgh Fringe language police, while the first passed by uncensored. F*ckw*ts.

Meanwhile, first inventive PR freebie of the festival comes courtesy of stand-up Markus Birdman, who sent us a small bottle of booze and a bottle of pills to plug his show Love, Life And Death. Shame the pills – from The Stand Pharmacy and with instructions to take one every 24hours at 9.20pm – turned out to be nothing stronger than mints...

John Bishop has had his turn with the Olympic Torch, carrying it too the top of one of the largest radio telescopes on the planet at the Jodrell Bank Observatory, Macclesfield.

The Portsmouth News asked Andy Zaltzman who his biggest hero was. 'I saw an interview with Harry Connick Junior in which he said that his biggest hero is his father,' he said. 'Harry seems like a nice enough guy, with his head screwed on right, so I’ll say that my biggest hero is Harry Connick Junior’s father.'

Spoof chat show duo Ronna & Beverley, matriarchs who ‘put the Jew in Jubilee’ are known for doling out advice to celebrities who appear on their live shows. They told Miranda Hart she should ‘wear flats’ and Russell Brand to ‘dress like a man’. In their new Sky Atlantic show, they ask Stephen Mangan: ‘So, what’s your favourite kind of Asian person.’

Tweets Of The Week.
Matt Kirshen (@mattkirshen):"I'm such a blonde!" is a clever thing to say when you're surrounded by Nazis
Simon Pegg (@simonpegg): They should make special Union Jack traffic cones so that instead of screaming FUCK at every closed road, you swell with patriotic fervour.
James Martin (@Pundamentalism ): Just seen some statistics on the most common way that people walk when drunk. It's staggering.

Published: 1 Jun 2012