'A body like Albert Steptoe'

WTF: Weekly Trivia File

  • ‘When you have an act like mine, that’s basically like pornography or thrash metal, most people won’t like it.’ Doug Stanhope.

  • Vanity got the better of Lee Mack after he had to bare all for the next series of Not Going Out – so tried to tone up. ‘There are a few scenes where I had to strip naked,’ he told The Sun. ‘So I got a spray tan and lost two stone. I went on the Atkins diet for two months — and had mince for breakfast every day for two months. I wasn’t too bothered about stripping off after losing the weight and getting the tan. It doesn’t really bother me because, when you reach a certain age, I’ve accepted the fact I’m looking towards getting a body like Albert Steptoe.’

  • Meanwhile co-star Katy Wix says she only ever gets recognised for the Harveys furniture adverts she does with Anna Crilly, never her comedy.

  • London-based comedians Sarah Kendall’s show at the Melbourne Comedy Festival is all about women being judged on their looks and their sex appeal. Yet it was with no obvious irony that her review in the city’s Herald Sun newspaper, which sponsors the festival, began: ‘Tall, attractive, with a long mop of strawberry-blonde hair... Sarah Kendall is very much a yummy mummy.’

  • Meanwhile, Australian comic Celia Pacquola has recalled her worst experience on stage ever –  her second night at the 2009 Edinburgh Fringe when a heckler shouted the strangest abuse at her: ‘I don't know what's going on The only reason I came to this show was because I thought you get defecated on. Seriously, the girl who gave me the flyer told me that you get shat on.’ She tried to deal with him by joking: ‘Well, I must tell that girl to stop giving away the ending.’ But the man would not give up, and demanded Pacquola get on with the excrement-based entertainment he had been promised. When he finally realised he had been misled, he told Pacquola he hated her, called her a bitch and then stormed out. ‘It may well have been the first time somebody left a gig because it wasn't a shit show,’ she says now. ‘But afterwards, I felt kind of euphoric. It toughened me up. No one could touch me after that.’

  • ‘I’ve always been scared of cows’ The League of Gentlemen’s Steve Pemberton

  • What’s that noise? Is it a comedian furiously backpedalling? Russell Howard told an interviewer this week that the TV channel Dave was the biggest threat to comedy with its constant reruns. But after Chortle, and others, picked up the story we get an email from the broadcaster insisting: ‘This story is not accurate’ and containing a new quote from Howard: ‘That'll teach me for giving a joke answer to a serious question from a broadsheet newspaper! Sorry Dave, you know I love you.’

  • Meanwhile, Howard told the Guardian that his worst gig was a Christmas do in Romford, Essex, in 2005 – when a woman threw a dildo at him.

  • Ever wondered what the ‘tossed salads and scrambled eggs’ theme tune to Frasier meant? Well, composer Bruce Miller was asked to provided ‘something pretty eclectic and jazzy, but to avoid any direct references to specific subject matter So it was necessary to stay away from words about psychiatry, radio shows, the name Frasier, and anything else directly indicating aspects of the show.’ So he called a friend who came back with the idea of tossed salads and scrambled eggs. ‘At first I was a bit baffled myself ,’ Miller says, ‘Until he explained that these were things that were 'mixed up' like Frasier Crane’s patients.’

  • John Cleese on creativity:

  • Tweets of the week
    John Anthony (@chocbohomo): Dear Everyone: To "lose" your socks is to misplace them. To "loose" your socks is to unleash their awesome powers on an unsuspecting world.
    Neil Mawer (@_Enanem_): My friend just told me he's starting up this thing were he exchanges goods and services in exchange for money. I think he means business.
    Benedict Farse (@BenedictFarse): My penis is like an Islamic hate cleric: it's spouting vile filth and judging by the reaction on this train, people want it out the country.

    Published: 13 Apr 2012

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