- ‘The fact that someone would fuck you was more important than a TV show or 5 stars in a newspaper.’ Doug Stanhope on what motivates him as a comedian.
- Paul McCartney has told James Corden he's too fat to go to Africa in aid of Comic Relief. Sir Paul said he was a ‘bloater’, adding: ‘People don't like seeing tubby people over in Africa. If they hadn't eaten so much, no one would be starving.’ Sadly, it was all in the name of a sketch – which Corden himself had written – in aid of Red Nose Day.
- Old-school comic and Phoenix Nights actor Ted Robbins has been given a fixed penalty notice after being caught driving without his seatbelt, just 300 yards from his home in Rawtenstall, near Burnley. He said: ‘The officers were nice about it. I wasn’t driving. My 18-year-old daughter was rolling her eyes because I was embarrassing her. She tells me off for not wearing my seatbelt all the time.’
- Not sure we’d call Scottish comic Janey Godley a ‘singing sensation’ – but STV did; with a misprint providing her with what could be a very misleading quote for her next Edinburgh poster when they confused her with Britain’s Got Talent find Janey Cutler.
- Talking of spelling mistakes (and yes, as if Chortle is one to thrown stones) we thank the PR company who this week sent out a press release about an ‘improve’ comedy troupe.
- Victoria Wood wishes she didn’t have to write every role she landed herself, saying: ‘I would be so flattered if someone actually thought of me doing something else.’
- Well, everyone’s got to start somewhere… but would you put it on YouTube? Feel the desperation at the end:
- Inbetweeners star Joe Thomas has admitted his show endorses antisocial behavior – after being abused in the street. The actor said he dropped his shopping after having one of the show’s less family-friendly catchphrases screamed in his face. ‘I was coming out of Tesco and someone shouted, “Bus wanker!”,’ he said. ‘I thought, “We’ve done this. We’ve made people think this behaviour is OK. And now we’re getting awards for it.’
- Who says Americans can't write newspaper headlines. From the Toledo Blade this week: 'Family-oriented comedy is all about family'.
- Outnumbered child star Tyger Drew-Honey wants his character to go off the rails, saying: ‘I'd like a drunken scene. I'd like to try and act that, as most teenagers will be getting in that sort of thing at Jake's age.’ When asked the sane question, co-star Daniel Roche said he wanted his character to get a dog.
- Nick Revell (@nickula): Israelis make the best audiences in showbiz. It's impossible to leave them not wanting more.
Tony Cowards (@TonyCowards):Just bought some tennis balls, on the packet it says "Serving suggestion – Overarm”.
Paul Sinha (@paulsinha): Is ANYONE going to point out that Andy Gray is an anagram of Randy Gay?
SOURCES: The Fix, The Sun, Lancashire Telegraph, Chortle, Metro, YouTube, Daily Mirror, Toledo Blade, Press Association, Twitter