Who is the worst person you've ever met at Edinburgh? | Comedians share their Fringe stories

Who is the worst person you've ever met at Edinburgh?

Comedians share their Fringe stories

There are too many to count. One guy perforated my eardrum by shouting in my ear incredibly loudly in C bar. Another man once asked if he could photograph my feet on the Mile. Not me, not my lovely costume, but my trotters.
Elissa Churchill, Newsrevue, Pleasance Courtyard, 18:30

I flyered one girl who seemed really nice, we got talking and she told me that she helped the homeless. I thought 'how wonderful', I later found out that she was an estate agent.
Zahra Barri: Talk Like An Egyptian, Bar 50, 21:45

Neil Hamilton.
Holly Morgan, Seven Crazy Bitches, Assembly Hall, 19:00

A member of an audience in a cabaret guest spot we did who at the end took the time to tell us that it was a disgrace that people had paid for that. I think they were expecting cabaret dinner songs and got magic, burlesque and comedy rock. You can't please everyone. 'Rubbish! Bloody rubbish!'
Morgan & West: Return of the Time-Travelling Magicians, Underbelly Med Quad, 17:15

A woman came in late to my show last year which was on the Free Fringe but was full (I'd turned away 50 people). As soon as she arrived I explained, from on stage, that we weren't allowed any more people. She said: ‘No thanks, I'll stay.’, I told her she had to leave, she then went downstairs, complained to the bar and threatened to call the police.
Joe Wells: I Hope I Die Before I Start Voting Conservative, Sneaky Pete’s, 12:05

I won't name names, but people who post photos of their full rooms every day will get themselves muted on Facebook.
Jane Hill: Cow, Laughing Horse @ The Counting House, 13:05

Some drunk people loudly heckled us one night and then they came again later in the run. We asked them why they’d come back and they looked at us blankly. It soon became clear that they had no memory of the first time whatsoever.
Sisters: White Noise, Pleasance Courtyard, 19:15

Bitter comedians with no act and smug comedians with great acts but no humility.
Dominic Holland: Eclipsed, Voodoo Rooms, 16:40

I met this girl after a show who was so funny, sweet, and charming plus she found me funny which is like 80 percent of what it takes for me to be attracted to you. Anyway, she revealed that she had just broken up with her boyfriend and wanted to move on. 20 minutes later he walked in and swept her off her feet. It was clear from the moment that they were soulmates and they walked off together somehow in love, leaving me at the bar. Anyway, from my point of view, I'd say that guy sucked.
Sid Singh: A Singh In The North, Dropkick Murphys, 14:45

Not a person, but... The Durham Revue (every year, different casts).
Patrick Turpin - Itty Bitty Little Titty Piece, Underbelly Cowgate, 22:40

Hahaha! What an amazing question. The estate agents who charged me £850 for a month in what was essentially a vacant squat. You could only have a shower if the oven was on due to gas supply issues. I'm lucky to be alive #hellhouse
Jenny Collier: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Jen, Espionage, 17:00

In 2012 I was doing a free show. Some bloke who was associated with the Fringe was so rude to me and told me that I was now part of a ' movement' to take over the Fringe while spitting in my face as he was so drunk. Two hours later I saw him being put in to a police car.
Andrew Ryan: Did You Get Here Alright?, Assembly Studio, 18:45

Jim Davidson, well I didn't actually "meet" him.... he kind of approached me outside Pleasance Dome and sort of hovered, desperate for people to come over and talk to him. Not one single person acknowledged him. I actually feel quite sorry for him now, thinking about it.
Helen Wallace: Up Periscope, Laughing Horse at Southside Social, 13:15

Two years ago on the Royal Mile I flyered a group of young Americans who seemed likely audience members. They were very devout Christians who, after I told them about my show and subject matter, asked me if they could pray for me? ‘Sure,’ I said, sheepishly, expecting them to leave me alone, but instead one took my hand, they formed a circle from which I could not escape and loudly asked Jesus to help me follow the path or righteousness and success during the Fringe. I'm sure they meant well, but that level of blazing-eyed belief in someone so young really freaked me out. When I told them I was the wrong godless Jew for this sort of thing, rather than let me go they grabbed tighter on my hands and prayed harder. Worst of all, I had a great gig that night and I didn't know if it was because of or in spite of them!
Ben Van Der Velde: Sidekick, Espionage, 20:45

All the people who take your flier, read it, look at your face, then back down at the flier, then give it back to you.
Nazeem Hussain: Hussain in the Membrane, Assembly George Square, 20:00

Published: 4 Aug 2017

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